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Ok now for all those who haven't read any of my works now is the time to read some of them, I have finally decided to write a book and these are some things that are out of them and I would enjoy you all to read them and I don't give a rats a** if you like them or not this is my book damn it!

As I lie I'm my depression things seem to happen in which I do not wish to happen, so I ignore them. And with this they vanish, as they vanish I become distant. Oh so very distant. It’s not cold but it is dark, I can feel my breath as I breathe in and out. I think, wow it is snowing and snow is on the ground and it’s not cold this is weird. Now I look around and there is no color. I laugh and believe it is a dream, and I try to take control to wake up. I can not see anything I want so I keep walking. I think I’m in control. Then I see demons coming up, and surprise these things are in color. I feel so heavy, and then I feel someone touch my shoulder I spin around to see who it is. No one. Then the demons see I and I feel more weight on my side and back, as though something is strapped on to them, I find a katana with two ten gh someone took a picture of me and left it as a negative. I look in horror the blood is the same, and I see myself look so relived, as though I lifted a great weight off him and then he slowly falls it appears that time has almost stopped it is getting harder and harder to breath and then he falls and time speeds back to normal and I feel all the pain both his and mine and I almost faint my eyes turn blue, as though the iris had grown and the pupil had disappeared but I can still see and I see my face and its saddening to see me die like this and then I fall on to his body and he melts into me and I faint.

I wake up in a strange looking house on a bed that is not mine and I wonder how the hell did I get here. And then I sit up and I feel my chest is wet and I touch it, blood is over the palm of my hand. Then I hear someone at the door and reach for my katana and its not there it is propped up against the corner and then a woman walks in with a tray, the tray has medical items on it and she is dressed in just a white dress. She has short dark hair and a pretty, so young and slender she looks. Finally she walks up to me and I try to move but cant she light touches my head and I feel so relaxed I almost fall back to sleep but stay up and then she undress my wound and cleans it as she is doing that I feel nothing and I ask her what is her name was and she didn’t answer just looked and smile and that was good enough as soon as I got my strength back would leave. Then the sun came in and I saw that it was still snowing and sighed, how long will it snow and further more how long will I dream. Then dread fell upon me…what if…what if this wasn’t a dream?? What if this was not a dream and was real?!?! Then I get up to find my cloths and weapons and leave. As I left the room I found out I was on the road. I almost fall out of the door, it was like there was suppose to be a step there, but I catch myself before hit the ground. Then sadness completely takes me over, I was in a house and there was a girl there and I left it to be on this damn road?!?! I start to run, run as fast I can down this road and I finally see another door I feel tears of joy and I open the door running though it not looking back. I am out of that damned area and can go on with what I want to do, but then…I notice the door closed and I can never go back in there and see the wooded area or see the girl again and I cry. I will try to find out how I got there and why even if it ends my live.

I slowly look up and laugh as the cold steel is still in my midsection. They actually killed me, they finally done what they said they would do. I've been living with such pain for my whole life. But I try and think of why I shouldn't die and I can't think of any reason not to. So then I finally draw at my blade, and with one clean swipe the evil in which put the blade in me is dead. I stumble on with the blood dripping form me and start to remember what I've been doing with my life and it pops in my mind. The last journey in which I was in, the cold comes back to me as though I am there, in the snow waiting to die. But...this time no one is coming to save me...this time I can finally rest in peace. But damn, all those demons on the horizon....and...I see those that I love are there...and it gives me the strength to to on. I pull the blade out of me and go running full speed to help them and give my live so they can be happy and safe.

And I just lay there crying until I hear a voice, the voice sounds so kind and loving. I don't even look I just go and embrace them. As I embrace them I feel all my worry go away, as they goes I start to cry uncontrollably. I can feel there body, there warmth, its a woman, she pats my head and kiss. Then she says that it will be alright and i believe here for some reason i feel so safe when she is near me and her voice sooths me. I see her but, its funny I can't make out what she looks like, she is just so wonderful it doesn't even matter that I can not see what she looks like, it doesn't matter. All that I want to do is be with this woman.

well it seems death has decided it is too good for me, and the creator wont grant me my wish of leaving this hell of which i am stuck in for now. so i guess the best thing i can do is fight on with what i believe in. but at what cost am i willing to make to have what i believe known? why in this world we must give something up to gain something.....it is depressing no matter what it is....we have to choose between it and something else we like and we cant change what we do sometimes. why is this so, why must one die so the other may live and define there being through said persons death?
now i am at the road that i dare not even tread....i hate it, the very fact that it is here brings so much pain to me.....why must i live on and not ever die? why am i stuck here to be tormented as i see others slip off into death and finally be able to sleep with out disruption? what the hell makes them so damn high and mighty? i am stuck with depression as i see so many that i have come to love die...why can i not join them? i heard live isnt fair and its not right but this is a little over kill....but i will continue. this is not the live i wanted...but i will live it until i die.

this time i got cut deeper then ever....the warm blood flows out, why is it when you don't expect it you hurt yourself? this inst a physical wound this is a cut on my soul. It use to be so wonderfully beautiful...this evil that has given me power has killed me. But it will all be worth it if I can spend more time with them. So long as I see them, hear them, get to be with them, then I would gladly go to the pits of hell and stay if the would be happy and not go there. I will carry all their burdens, if it means they will be happy. This is all that I wish, and why i pay the price and get my soul cut and torn and battered...for the sole purpose of helping the ones I love. And you dare call me crazy? I damn you to were I am going to share in the pain. But whats funny is that I wont feel it, my soul couldn't possibly feel pain after what it has been though. So to all those trying to hurt me or my friends, just stop you can't possibly beat my power, for I fear not death, I welcome the b*****d with open arms, so he won't come and take me. Death never takes the ones who just want to die, but since I love I will die, and if not then it wasn't true love and I will know who loves me and who don't.

I walk though the graveyard and I am reminded of all the ones that died along side me while i tried to protect the one thing i loved, they loved it as well or they would not of died for it. I felt sorrow because I caused most of the deaths. I finally showed the village what I could do....and they all hate and fear me now. But even more over their hate is what fuels the demons inside of me....why? Why must they treat me so, they beat me and tried to kill me and used me as a weapon of war and when I finally do as they want they hate me even more so? Do they not believe that I feel sorrow for my lost comrades? I wish they would not of had to of died, so that I didn't have to smell their putrid blood. My village has a small clan that doesn't fight but if they did they could do worse then me if they all went in. I am told I have the strongest "affliction". They say I am a nuisance, the black sheep of the clan. But does that give them any more right to hurt me then it does for me to hurt them and get punished? I don't know what else to do, I'm not the best looking, not the smartest, not the strongest, nor the most experienced, but they say I am a threat to them? How so, I know lots of other people who are stronger then I. But the idiots don't know how to use that power correctly. Ha, I laugh at them. For one day I will leave when they need me and never return and let them finally pay the full price for misusing me so. But I believe I will be shunned completely before that happens, possible even kicked out for doing what is considered forbidden. But I could care less what this village of idiots think, I will show everybody who doubts me my true power.......even if it kills me they will know that I am to be respected and appreciated, not disrespected and hated for what they raised me to do.....

Well today there was someone who was nice to me. This person I can tell wasn't just trying to be mean or anything to me, not like the others. But I've known him for along time now and well I suppose he is my friend now, I'm happy finally. But, he has hurt me before and I fear he will do so again. I am also kind of ashamed to say this but, he is the only person that I actuality want to destroy. He angers me, but at the same time he makes me happy. Also he makes my anger go toward the ones i once considered unhateable...the only ones i didn't want to leave this god-for-saken village for. But now i believe that my priority's have changed. I am going to leave this village in ruins now, but leave them all alive with none of their worldly possessions and see how they feel about losing them and then I will pick them off one-by-one until he is left. But that is just the demon in me that is talking and trying to take over and recreate what happen so long ago....no I don't want to do that again. But when he does take control...i feel so damn alive. To be able to use all my power again, to find someone worthy enough to do so. But I think I will just call him out and then just go all out on him, i hope he can handle it. If i lose? Then I will go out and try to gain more power so I can. Untill I can put him out of this existence i cant go on living my own. I can not see doing anything else but that now. I can not love, hate, live, or even die until he does.

So we meet outside of town to talk and so I can finally be alive and free. It mattered not wither i died or lived. So long as we were not in the same existence, I really wish we would of meet earlier in life, we could of been friends maybe? Oh well here goes, I start the fight. But in the end we both almost die and this continues for the rest of time...as a matter in fact it still happens to this day. Although I haven't seen him since he left....along, long, long time ago....I will still wait for him so we can settle this. Maybe instead of fighting, we can finally act like kids and play?? I want that to be, but so long as we are together I still harbor deep-seated hate for him. It's like that saying or song or whatever I hate him and yet I still love him....one day we will live the lives
we want with out fear or hate. I can not wait until that day.

Wow that was a lot to read eh? well its not my whole book just a couple of things from it, I'm gonna make it all flow really nice and then publish it when I can

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