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I have word my friend Jonathan has killed himself.
And all of his friends blame me.
What on earth did I do? What could I have done?
I was his friend. I didn't even say anything derogatory to him!
I always told em I cared. WTF could I have done to make him KILL himself?

That's it. I'm that big of a screw up and a life ruiner.
I can make someone kill themself without having to say anything mean to them.

It's final. I'm shutting people out now. If I can do that...
just that without saying anything... what can I do when I do say something?

It'd be best if everyone just left me alone.


Back then, it was the end of my world, because I really felt like I was just a burden on this world. I thought, "What effect could I possibly have on people that have never met me..." Then I began thinking that if I could cause that much damage to people across the ocean, I've caused even more damage to those who live right here with me. So, I wrote a suicide note and planned to kill myself. Then I recieved word that it was just a sick joke, played by my friend's friend. I was pissed as hell.

Now that I look at it, it's quite funny. It was a little over a year ago, but that s**t feels so fresh in my memory. Hmmm... neutral