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1. if your ever in a public place never ever fart.....alot

2. if you get into an elevator never push every button on it...escpelly when there is a really really big dude behind you with the tatto that says kill.

3. if your stranded out in the wild in the middle of a night and a trucker named bubba with pictures of guys hanging up in his window with guns and handcuffs i would advice you to never get in the truck.

4. if your girl friend ask if these jeans make her look fat never tell her no its her fat butt that makes the jeans look fat.

5. if your ever visiting futur inlaws do not rever to your girl as your little sex machine.

6. if your ever pulled over by a cop and he asks for your id never tell him the s**t is in the trunk dont take me to jail sir....especcaly if its a woman cop.

7. if your going to the movies and you dont like the movie never stand infront of the projector doing shadow puppits.

8. if you see a sign that says dont feed the bears then i would say it isnt smart to try and pet one eather.

9. if your in a hospital never put on a doctors coat and go around to patiants telling them the old good news bad news joke of...bad news you only got a week to live good news i saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to gaiko.

10. do not refer to your much larger and meaner wife as the old ball and chain that wont die infront of her.....

and the most important tip...if you have done any of these things seek help immediatly because you have a saver case of dumbass disorder.