Wade's mad at me now.. He says the whole ordeal is all his fault (I don't think he truely thinks that.. he just is upset). Really, I played a part in it also. I wanted to hang out with Wade, and I was the one wanting Wade, and Wade didn't have too much of a chance to want me I think. He started getting bored with it I think.. or something. Which caused him to try not to hang out with me. I'm not completely sure what he was feeling or thinking but that's just..what I feel. I just.. wanted to be with Wade.. It bothers me to think that Wade may not want to go back out with me.. I dumped him mainly because I wanted him to have the choice.. I really do want to be with him still..He seemed he needed the freedom.. to not feel he's tied down to me. I feel like maybe he'll.. like me more again if he does want to date me. I don't know.. Gah I just wish things weren't so complicated.. and I just wish I was..enough to keep Wade happy. I'm not though.. and it sucks..-_-. I don't know if Wade really wanted me to break up with him.. but he kept saying he doesn't know if he would care.. or didn't even know if he loved me.. that's what made me feel maybe he just needed time to figure out those things that he said dunno to, and if him and I were still dating, it probably wouldn't..ever get better. I just want the best.. for Wade and I.. I wish I could call him.. and talk to him.. or he'd get on AIM XP.. feh.. oh well. I really hope Wade doesn't know I have a gaia journal. I didn't tell him I did, and I don't think he'd be looking at his friends list thing. Maybe I should just rant in live journal again.. though it's getting boring sorta.. just in case I suppose..
I guess this could possibly be my last gaia journal entry then (unless I talk about none sense crap XP)
Katana Motsu Community Member |
|