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I have the tendency to type a whole bunch once I start going on topics that bother me..o.O' so bare with me (who ever actully reads this) on the other hand don't read my journal, it's nice to just rant on places other then live journal sometimes so no need to read this, if anyone is, just stop now..o.O'
STOP READING YOU, IF YOU EVEN ARE, BUT I DOUBT YOU ARE.

Whelp. I broke up with my boyfriend today. It sucks.. it really does. Probably not for him because he didn't even know if he'd care if I dumped him. So..yea. Maybe it's for the better. If he really..cares for me then I guess i'll be waiting for him, until an opporitunity raises for me to..move on with someone else. It's just.. saddening. When he loved me, he loved me right. It felt so..right.. and real.. and I felt so happy and safe. I guess he didn't feel the same way or something.. or just can't deal with a relationship that's.. more serious, or emotional? Not like the petty ones where all you think going out for is to get phyiscal.. or something. XP.. He told me that the reason it felt so right when he loved on me and was with me, was because he was made for me, and I was made for him. *sigh* Oh well, people say things like that when their dating.. it doesn't mean it's actully true though..
Everyone thinks I should date Jake, Wades good friend... but I don't know. I just really wish Wade would love me like he used to.. XP hold me, talk to me, play with me.. laugh with me.. kiss me.. god dammit.. stupid missing him-ness. When I think of Jake holding me.. or kissing me, it seems so..odd.. and un comfortable. Then again I felt the exact same way when I first started liking Wade. None the less, I just wish Wade and I would have worked out. I gave him the choice to ask me out again if he found that he cared for me..more then a friend.
Meh, IF I ever dated Jake (if, key word) I'd be so awkward.. knowing that Wade is like.. best friends with Jake and all. Wade says I should date Jake also though @.@ he could just be..saying that and he really doesn't want me to. None the less, I don't even feel like dating anyone else for awhile, unless it's Wade that is..
Man, I keep thinking of my good moments with Wade. How irritating is that. I've only been dating him since November 26th and I feel like I've known him forever.. and it sucks it had to eennddd! Maybe I made a mistake in dumping him.. and things may have got better eventually..
Wade did get mad at me alot tho.. tried to not hang out with me.. and didn't ever talk to me really. -_- Everyone now is telling me "I can't believe you put up with him as long as you did!" Though Wade thinks I was the difficult one. Even if I was, he could have told me what I was doing wrong and I could have tried to be better..

Gah i'm just irritated and have alot of emotions at once, and I have a long enough journal as it is so i'll just stop typing now..