Darling, when did we fall? When was it over?
Darling, when? When did we fall? When was it over?
I suppose it is the price of falling in love.
I fear that it's the price of falling in love.
------------------------------------------------------------
She should probably go back home, really. But she didn't like it there.
Barret was a nice guy and all, and Marlene was really cute, but she
just...she missed her home. She missed Papa and her bed and the
cobblestone streets. She missed the trees and the snow and the grass,
and man, she missed the sky. The sky, she missed that most of all.
Midgar was a cold, dark place. There wasn't any snow, nor any trees, and
the sky, it was all locked up, and she couldn't see. The only light was
the light from the pale, pitiful streetlights, and from the towers that
held the plate up above them. She cradled her battered jacket closer to
her body. She hated Midgar. Her complexion was already waning; her tan
was fading. She was starting to look like them, like the blank-eyed
citizens of this dingy, dirty city. She missed Nibelheim, but Nibelheim
was gone, forever. The thought made her colder, made shivers, like
ice-cold fingers, inch up her back. It was getting cold. Maybe it was
snowing in the Upper World, but she was pretty sure it wouldn't make it
down here. Asgar...she thought it was called. The Upper World, Asgar. It
reminded her of a myth. She asked Barret if gods and goddesses lived up
there, and he had told her that, "Nothin' but sorry assholes and thieves
live up there. They can have the damn place."
She had reprimanded him for his language, and he looked like a sad,
giant puppy. He was probably worried about her too. She should get home,
she really should, but she didn't want to go, and it was really dark
now. She was a little scared. It reminded her of when Barret had found
her, after Master Zangan left, and she was still weak and
out-of-practice, trying to fight off those thugs. Barret had saved her.
He was a real hero, not like...she shook her head clear of that thought.
It was mean, terrible. He couldn't have known it was happening; he could
have been stationed somewhere else. His mama had died too. The thought
made her throat constrict painfully. Papa...oh no, was she crying?
Again? Stop that now. It makes you weak, makes you lose focus...
That's when she found the church.
Well, it wasn't a church, not really. It looked like it used to be one,
but well, it was old, dilapidated. It looked awful. It made her feel
worse, seeing a place that was used for worship so broken, so utterly
destroyed. It seemed nothing but gil was of any value in the slums. The
thought made her stomach churn unpleasantly. But, nobody bad would be in
a church. Maybe she could stay in there for a while, to get away from
the cold, maybe. Then she could go home. Barret would be mad at her, but
only for a little while. He'd be happy she was alive...she should really
go home. Poor Barret. She was always worrying him; it made her feel
guilty. But...she really wanted to see the inside of the church. Maybe
it was nicer than the outside. Curious. She remembered her father
telling her, "Tifa, curiosity killed the cat." When her mother was
alive, she would retort, defend her daughter, "But remember dear,
satisfaction brought it back." When Mama died, Papa never said it
anymore, and when he tried, something dark would wash over his face,
like his eyes were windows, and she was looking inside when the lights
flicked off. She promised to stay close to home after that.
She pulled open the doors slowly, jumping at the low creak. Geez, she
was really jumpy...there was nothing to worry about! It was surprisingly
bright. She squinted her eyes. Too bright. It was hard to get used to.
She had become accustomed to the darkness of Midgar, and the light was
unusual. Why was it so sunny?
When her eyes refocused, she glanced around. The pews were dusty, as
were the floorboards, but besides that, it looked no worse for wear. The
stained glass shone light down into the building...but, it was so...dark
outside! How in the world...she stepped forward, and winced at the loud
creak. There was a flower garden too, and a...a girl? What was she doing
here? Maybe she was homeless. She hoped not. Homeless people were nuts;
she had learned that much already. They always smelled like alcohol, and
they said strange things. They liked to stare at her too, and she hated
the staring. Someone was always staring at her, calling her 'pretty.'
But, she thought, looking down at her chest in mild disdain, they're
never staring at my face when they say it.
"Um...hi! D-do you live here? If you do, I'm so sorry! I'll leave!"
"I don't live here." The girl turned away from the flowers. She had very
bright green eyes and long, light-brown hair. She didn't look crazy at
all, thank goodness. "I'm only tending to my flowers."
"They say you can't grow flowers in the slums."
"Greater miracles have happened." The girl smiled. "What's your name?"
"Ahhh, I'm Tifa! And you?"
"I'm Aeris. It's a pleasure to meet you, Tifa."
"Nice to meet you too!" She hadn't met any girls around her age here
yet, and Aeris seemed awfully nice, and she made the flowers grow.
"Um...how'd you grow flowers here?"
"That's a secret." Aeris' eyes twinkled for a moment. "You don't look
like you're from around here. Are you?"
Tifa shuffled from side to side, giving the other girl a grin. "Aw, I'm
that obvious? But no, I'm not from here. I just...I just arrived a few
months ago. You, well, you don't seem like...you're from here either.
Are you?"
Aeris laughed. "I've been here since I was seven years old. Please, come
over here and sit down. You look tired."
Tifa hesitated for a moment, giving the girl an assessing look. She
still wasn't at a hundred percent, but if the other girl tried something
funny, she was pretty sure she'd be easy to take down. It made her feel
a little bad, thinking like that, like no one could be trusted, but the
slums were so dangerous...she would have to be on her toes all the time.
She cocked her head to one side. "Well, okay. But I can only stay for a
little while."
"Oh." Aeris looked a little disappointed, but she covered it up quickly
with a smile. "Alright then. Please," she patted the spot next to her,
"Sit down."
Tifa sat down cautiously, being careful not to step on the flowers. She
stared around in wonder. It was so bright! It seemed as if everything
was glowing. And the flowers were so pretty! She hadn't seen flowers in
a long time. Despite Nibelheim having fresh air and bright sunlight, it
was often cold, and flowers rarely lived. But this...was amazing. This
girl, she hadn't just grown one; she had grown a whole garden of flowers
in a place that was incapable of harboring such life. Amazing! Tifa
reached out to touch the petals of one red blossom, but hesitated. What
would happen if she touched one? She might jinx it!
Aeris sensed her wariness and waved her hand slightly, trying not to
laugh. "Go on. You won't hurt it."
Tifa reached out and grazed her fingers against the soft petals. "Wow,"
she whispered. "It's real..."
Aeris laughed out loud this time, the soft, musical sound echoing off of
the walls. "Yes, it is. You...don't often see flowers, do you?"
"Nope. I never...y'know, cared much...but seeing them here...that's
something else! You must be really special!"
Aeris frowned, glancing down at a yellow blossom. "I'm not that
special...I'm just...boring old me. But, I bet you've done lots of
exciting things, haven't you?"
"No, not really...well, I used to play the piano..."
"Oh, wow! Were you very good?"
Tifa grinned sheepishly, feigning modesty. "Ah, well, I was
alright...and once, I climbed a mountain!"
"Wow!"
"Well...twice...but I can't remember the first time, and the second..."
she trailed off, but brightened immediately afterwards. "I can fight."
"Well, I see that all the time..." Aeris brushed her fingers against the
yellow flower lovingly. "You see fights all the time in the slums."
"I betcha don't see trained fighters!"
Aeris smiled mysteriously. "You'd be surprised. But, you've had
training? Let me see."
"It's just for self-defense..." Tifa explained. "But...alright. I should
probably move away from the flowers, I don't want to--"
"Don't worry. You won't hurt them." Aeris waved a hand again and smiled.
"Go ahead."
Tifa stood, and took a deep breath, closing her eyes. When she opened
them, her cheerful expression was gone, replaced by the stony visage of
a fighter's. She remembered her training, and flowed through her
exercises carefully, slowly, almost as if she was dancing. She dodged,
skipped, and avoided each delicate flower, and then sat down again,
breathing slow and even. Aeris stared at her, entranced for a moment,
and then clapped.
"That was...wonderful! You move so beautifully! I..I wish I could do
that."
Tifa grinned, and blushed. Fighting was something she never allowed
herself to get boastful about. Master Zangan had taught her that. "Thank
you...and...um...I could...I could teach you, if you want." She didn't
know why she was offering, but Aeris looked like she could barely hold
her own in a fight. How she had survived so many years here was a
mystery to Tifa. She had almost gotten killed in her first week! "I
mean, it might be good. We can hang out together, and train!" She
frowned and slumped. None of the other girls in Nibelheim ever wanted to
do anything to defend themselves. All they cared about were boys.
But, a smooth voice taunted, all you ever cared about was Cloud.
She batted the voice away mentally, and waited for Aeris' response. The
girl went through a variety of expressions: at first, she looked
startled, then a little frightened, nervous, and finally she relaxed.
"That's a good idea. It wouldn't hurt. Sure."
Aeris' smile was heaven-bright, and Tifa winced at its brilliance. She
forced a grin of her own. Chin up, she heard her papa saying. You've
made a friend in this lonely place, her mother added.
"That's great! We'll start..."
"...tomorrow." Aeris finished for her. Tifa put a hand to the back of
her head, suddenly nervous. She wondered if this was how Cloud felt when
he was around her, and ignored the twinge of guilt. She wondered how he
was, if he was safe. Was he eating right? She hoped so. He was always so
skinny, shorter than she was before he left, and he was a year older,
and a boy at that! Everyone always picked on him, called him names, and
she would try to defend him, but her voice would be lost in the
laughter. She should have tried harder. She would make up for it by
trying with this girl.
"Okay, tomorrow then. Bye Aeris!" Tifa was already heading to the door.
Barret was so gonna kill her if she didn't hurry.
"Bye Tifa," Aeris murmured, gazing down at the single red flower.
----------------
"Where the hell have you been?!"
Tifa frowned and stared down at her feet, ashamed. "I just took a little
walk, Barret..." she began slowly, trying not to make him angrier.
"Wit'out tellin' nobody?!" The black man waved his good hand around
angrily. "You know how dangerous it is, 'specially fo' a lil' girl
like--"
"I'm not a little girl!" Tifa snapped, feeling her anger rise and boil
over. "I'm not! I can take care of myself! I'm almost sixteen years
old!"
Barret looked chastised. "Now Tif, now you know I don't mean it like
that. You know what I mean. I was jes worried 'bout ya. I don't want you
goin' around, gettin' yo'self inta trouble...you ain't nothin' but
fifteen, and I know you can fight, but you ain't up ta speed yet, and
it's dangerous out there, Tifa. You jes worry me, is all."
Tifa glanced down at her feet again. She felt tears coming, and they
surprised her. "I...I'm sorry. I...I didn't mean to worry you, I swear.
I was just...I just wanted to look around, an--and..." she choked on the
words and rubbed at her eyes viciously, shaking with sobs. "I'm sorry! I
won't go out again, I promise!"
"Aw, now, come on now girl, stop that...none of that cryin' and
sh...stuff. Come on...quiet down now. I ain't mad at ya, I was just
worried about ya. There, there." Barret put a massive hand on Tifa's
small shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly. "Cut that out now. You a
tough girl, right? You ain't no wuss, I know that."
Tifa glanced up and wiped her eyes, nodding her head slowly. "I'm
tough," she whispered hoarsely, hiccupping softly.
"That's right! Cheer up now! And I know you been lonely and all, wit'out
nobody to talk ta yo' own age, but I found a couple of kids today. They
ain't got no place ta stay, and one of 'em is a girl, 'bout yo' age."
"Really?" Tifa brightened visibly, though she still sniffled a little.
She suddenly remembered Aeris and gasped in delight. "Oh Barret! Guess
what? I met a friend today! She makes flowers grow!"
"In the slums?" Barret chuckled low in his chest, helping the girl out
of her chair. "You crazy. You seein' stuff?"
"No Barret, not at all! Her name was Aeris, and oh, she was really
pretty! And nice! She had a garden in this old church, and everything
was glowing and..."
"Girl, you sound like you seen some kinda angel or somethin.' You sure
you ain't hurt yo'self while you was out there?"
"I didn't hurt myself," Tifa insisted, as Barret lead her to the
'secret' headquarters, that is, the little room below the bar that had
been converted into a workplace for them. Tifa had no idea how he had
scared the original bartender out, and she wasn't sure she wanted to
know. "I dunno if she was an angel or not. But I saw flowers, I swear!
Oh, you'll have to come next time, Barret, with Marlene too! I'll carry
her, and you can meet Aeris!"
"Right, right. Aw'right. We'll go see this garden and this angel. If she
ain't real, you owe me 200 gil, aw'right?"
"It's a bet," Tifa responded, grinning.
-----------------
Jessie had glasses that were too big for her face, and she bit her lip
nervously whenever someone looked at her. Her clothes were too big for
her small frame, and her eyes were very large and frightened. Barret had
said that she was about Tifa's age, but Tifa was taller. Jessie seemed
to shrink within herself. Her glasses leaned to one side as she shyly
extended a hand for Tifa to shake. Frustrated, she used her other hand
to take the spectacles off.
"I'm Jessie," she whispered softly, glancing down at the floor. Tifa
smiled sympathetically.
"I'm Tifa. It's nice to meet you."
The boys, who had been quiet until then, glanced up at the sound of
Tifa's voice. One was chubby and short, the other tall, with the lean
physique of youth. The first boy toddled over to Tifa, grinning. He
wasn't much to look at, but he had very soft, deep brown eyes. Tifa
stared at them as she greeted herself.
"Hello, I'm Tifa. And you?"
"Wedge," the boy mumbled. He seemed almost as shy as Jessie. He did
smile hesitantly at her however, and she smiled back. "It's real nice to
meet you, Tifa. You're really pretty," he blurted out, and then blushed,
glancing away for a moment.
Tifa smiled warmly. The boy seemed very sincere. "Thank you Wedge. It's
really nice to meet you too."
The second boy stood up, away from the wall, and grinned, almost shyly,
at Tifa, extending his hand. His grip was firm. "Yo. I'm Biggs. Real
nice to meet you, Tifa. Your last name's Lockheart, right? Would you
like me to call you that instead?" He glanced over at his comrades
coolly, as if chastising them for not asking the same question. They
both winced and glanced down at the ground.
"No, Tifa is fine." She wondered if the boy had been in SOLDIER, but
staring at his rather intense, but other than that, normal gray eyes,
she changed her mind. Sephiroth's eyes had glowed like bright neon, and
Zack's...
"Ahh, that's cool then. Tifa. Tifa Lockheart. That's a really nice name.
That big guy, Barret, he's lettin' us stay around for a while. I'll uh,
I mean, we'll help you guys out whenever you need it. I don't know how
to cook, but I can fight pretty good, and Wedge over there only knows
how to eat, but Jess...she's real smart. You ask her to make something
out of nothin', and she can. I once saw her make a toy robot for some
kid out of a can and some wire."
"Jess is a real genius!" Wedge added. Tifa spared a glance at the other
girl, who cringed and sunk into her seat.
"I'm alright...it was just a little thing, you know."
"She's modest," Biggs muttered. He waved his hands around for a moment.
"So what about it, Tifa? Are we cool with you?"
Tifa laughed brightly. She would have to introduce Aeris to these people
too. They seemed very interesting.
"You're cool with me."
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