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GAWD, I'm so mad, sad, confused, lost, stupid, and every other emotion you can think of that's bad. I just want to scream, break stuff, and a whole bunch of stuff. But yet, I feel more mature, like I learned something. I'm upset because, you know how in my last journal entry how I said my teacher was going to give me a month to get it together after the 1st quater ends? Well, turns out, after thier little meeting, she thinks and is making me move down a class to a teacher which is, "nice". It sucks a**. She said I can't stay because, she needs to make room for other people/smarter people in the class. It sucks. I'm so mad at her, and I have to go to the new teachers class this upcoming monday. I hate this teacher now. Buut, the teacher I'm going to doesn't beleive in homework, so thay will take some stress off me. I'm still going to study anyways.
But, today, I feel like I've gotten more mature, or something, because grades, my future, and everything all came, and just hit me today. I"m living the moment. It sounds so cliche, but yeah. Because my favorite teacher of all time, I have him for my last period class, called focus. It's where you plan out your future, he's really hood at letcures and making you all, I don't know how to explain it. Anyways, he gave us a really inspiring letcure, and it makes me want to do so much better in school ,and life and s**t like that. And, I'm just not sure what I'm good at, or what I want do to with my life. But, it is the end of the first quater, and today was our last class in our elective, beause we have half-days on fridays, which means, no elective. But, he was talking to us about highschool, and how its the point where you have to stop leaning on your parents, it's all about you this time, and it was really inspiring. So, we were talking about our major highlights of school. And we listed some. The major one was Outdoor School, in 6th grade. It really made me think there, what do I want to do with my life, it was a touching moment, that I will never forget.
He was talking about how the school years go by so quickly,
"You'll blink, and it'll be June."
So, he was saying and talking about how, is graduating 8th grade something to toast for, like with champange, and wine glasses. And a lot of people didn't think so, but I did. And he pulled out a 6-case of Sparkiling Cider, and some plastic wine glasses. He poured a glass for everyone in the class. And we toasted, and he said some stuff about this year, and we sipped our glass. He said then, "There's one thing, that is traditinal that we do here." So he turned off the lights, and pulled out one of the very candles we used at Outdoor School. It was very touching. Becuase at outdoor school, we made barges, ships that carry things, like crates. We made them because there was a girl that died at outdoorschool one year, and her dream was to sail on a barge. She was paralized, and she wrote a song about it. "Barges, I would like to said the ocean blue. Barges I would like to come with you, I would like to sail the ocean blue."
There was more to it, but it's been two years. And he said,
"The last time you saw one of these candles, was watching your very barge sail down the rivier, at Outdoor School 04-05."
It was very touching. Anyways, we sat there discussing Outdoor School, and talking about our careers, and then he said a quote about the candle after he blew it out.
"COMING SOON."
It was so memberable. It made me really think. It went something like, When the candle goes out, the flame is still in your heart. The quote is from Pink Flyod, someone find it.
Anyways, yeah, it was a big day for me, good and bad reasons. Maybe I can pick up my grades, and get my spot back?