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Peter Pan was always my favorite movie. To never grow up..... I hated getting older. I hated a great many things that my memory now dulls. Even with all the horrendous things in my childhood, I hated growing up most of all.

Thus it was my greatest pleasure to go to my grandmothers house in Cape Cod and be a child once again. No responsibilites, play time through out the entire week I spent there. And Peter Pan. My grandmother made the best chocolate sauce, and we, my cousins and I, would make sundaes and watch the old Peter Pan movie.

I have so many fond memories of that house, a precious part of my childhood. But I am grown up now. An adult even in the eyes of the government. Can't I still believe in Neverland? And never growing up? I will. I hope so devoutly. I don't want to become staid and responsible. I want to laugh and see magic around every corner.

Unfortunatly I find myself more and more 'grown up'. My magic, my fantasy, has been reduced to books and roleplays. I work, I attend school. I worry. And worst of all, I don't see the magic anymore. I don't see the joy in life. I don't play.

We went to see "Finding Neverland" today. It's reminded me of what I'm slowly losing. I haven't seen "Peter Pan" in years, although I now have the tape since my grandmother sold her house. No more summers in the Cape. No more playing soccer with the neighboorhood kids in the yard. Laughter seems to have floated away from me, just a word in a book.

But that movie brought it back. It's not "Peter Pan", it's a story about it. It's a bridge between the child and the adult as "Peter Pan" once was. So I charge you. Find the magic that once was and bring it back. I know I will be trying my hardest to. Maybe we don't have to lose it when we 'grow up'. Maybe it can change with us.

I know I will always clap my hands for Tinkerbell.