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Ah, the most wonderful time of the year.

I've spent way more than I have on presents, still don't have enough, and therefore must find creative/unopened things around the house. I stuff them in pretty bags and give them to friends at random. However, I shouldve marked what was inside each of the gifts: I accidentaly gave one of my guy-friends a bottle of Neutrogena Body Lotion. Oh well, it's the price that counts, right?
So, after carefully and quite beautifully wrapping peices of coal for each and every member of my family, I sit on a mental nostalgic chair on a hearth with a blazing fire, smoke a very imaginative bubble pipe, and contemplate the new year. I ask myself, "How can I better my personality?" and I answer "Why mess up perfection?" and promptly burn my mental stockings on the hearth of truth. The real problem is which fault in my personality should I address first. Each year, I pick a different aspect of my life to improve on, and each year I compose an elegant pledge to myself about that aspect, and each year I completely and udderly fail to even scrape the concept. But not in vain! Falling flat on my face every new year is a humbling expirence, I tell you. Each year I get more and more humble. Most unfortunatly, my self esteem and ego are the parts of my personality that need little improvement, being that I have neither of them.

And so this year will continue like the rest. I will gorge myself on candy and gain twenty pounds, and for the next week try to concentrate on my pathetic New Years resolution while staying away from sugars. A losing battle, I tell you. Merry Christmas.