On the journey of starting my autobiograpy, I stopped to help my mom clean out the attic. My family are such pack rats that we have report cards from when I was in middle school. It was a fun bonding experience with my mom, since we have been spending a lot more time together lately.
Anyways, going through all the paperwork in tons of boxes, I come across letters from my ex-fiance. If you don't know me, then let me give you a brief history. I was propose to at my senior prom and stayed engaged for six months. It was the worst relationship that I have been in and the reason I can't trust too many guys. To make a long story short, he put his hands on me too many times and I had to leave him.
Back to my story, I was in complete shock that after all these years, why did my letters never leave this house. I threw everything away that he ever gave me because I never wanted my mind to think of him ever again. I admit, I did read some of the letters he wrote me. Out of the hundreds of letters he wrote me for seven years, only one made me cry. The letter he wrote me telling me he was sorry after he first put his hands on me and telling me that he would never do it again.
I wondered so long, how could my best friend of seven years hit me?! Then I wondered why did I let him get away with it? It is so weird how your past catches up with you. Our engagement and friendship has been over for five years. Some people think that their past will never affect their future, but with me it did. I have dated a lot of guys and now I see that I ended up slowing down the process of meeting someone new, because I thought another best friend could deceive me once again.
It's just funny how some things work out.
Study the past, if you would divine the future -- Confucius
 ~Red Fairy Princess~ · Sat Jul 01, 2006 @ 07:28am · 0 Comments |
