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Alright well after writing last night I broke and finally talked to the guy I like, we had a long talk and well turns out I was worrying about nothing. The problem now is he doesn't want a girlfriend for a while, to get his life back together and not really ready for another relationship, but I was just reminded of something I said a long time ago, it's not worth having if there is no struggle involved. The bigger the risk, the better the reward, life is about taking risks, some pay off and some don't play out the way you thought they would but they always pay off in some way or another. I'm going to try waiting until he's ready for a girlfriend, it might not be easy but I think it will definitely be worth it.