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Updating
Something pretty serious now, something I don't usually talk about because I don't want people judging or putting me down for it or thinking I'm making it up, but I have an eating disorder, it started when I was 11 and stupidly tried to control when I was hungry, not the smartest thing in the world to do but at the time I had little control over anything at all and so I guess I wanted to control what I could. Fast forward to when I was 19-20, wasn't doing this on purpose, just was extremely tired from working and going to class, I lost 20lbs in 2 weeks, not good right? Yea the doctor didn't think so either and I was threatened that if I didn't gain any weight by the next visit, he would have to do "something", now I may be jumping the gun here but by something I'm pretty sure he meant hospitalizing because I was just loosing weight to fast. Well I went back a week later and didn't gain any weight, actually I lost another 10lbs, and at this point the doctor said now I mean it, you're loosing weight way to fast to be healthy, gain weight or else, I really don't want to have to, but I will because this is dangerous. I went back a week later and luckily had gained 5lbs, it was only 5lbs but the doctor thought if I kept it up I would be ok, but the truth is I struggle with that every day, more so now that I think I've gotten overweight and want to loose a few lbs and no I don't mean I'm stick figure thin, I actually finally do have meat on my bones because well I was proud of myself for FINALLY gaining weight, not realizing I was gaining to much weight. So I've been trying to eat better, exercise, only, opps I didn't eat enough again and got sick. This problem, it's something I have to fight with every single day of my life, make sure I eat, make sure I eat enough, it's never going to go away and I'm always going to have to make sure of it, it sucks. I wish this wasn't a problem at all, and I feel for other people that have to go through this as well.
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