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i like how you aren't even looking at these...
and i think i'm the fool this time...
it is exactly like last year.
you were hurt, so you pushed me away, leaving me wondering whats going on.
this year, it ended the same way.
and yet you still think i jump to conclusions when i try to tell you the truth...
i don't even know what i'm getting myself into right now..
i just feel like that girl in the kdrama flower boy ramen shop.
she cried when she listened to that song, remember?
i'm practically in her place now.
she still loved that arrogant jerk, because of the long history they had.
i dont understand how you can lose your feelings so fast for me... when you were the one who was looking for me for a year.
or in your case, 2.
so, everything was practically lies.
everything.
this whole relationship was a lie.
i did my best, i didn't team up with anyone..
i was just waiting for you to talk to me.
danny told me that you were hurt, so you talked to other girls.
i was practically doing the same thing, but i wasn't teaming up....
i loved you so i wouldn't do that to you.
and yet, you had this "trust" issue.
i can't even count how many times i cried yesterday.
because i can't amount how much s**t you left me to deal with..
you're just up and gone.
just like that.
without a ******** care about how i feel.
not even caring how broken hearted i am, or traumatized, not even remembering who's the one chasing for this relationship.
i'll mention this again ---
we failed at beating the record.
....
and after i said all this
i still love you.
you probably don't because you let go...
but i can't. because i still don't know the real reason.
i just know that i shouldn't have sent you that stupid paragraph.
i also know that that song i made danny send you.. was also a regret.
i thought something good like us getting back together would work after the song...
i did make that song for you.
you didn't really fully appreciate it.
you probably forgot about it after i sang it to you the first time.
why can't i just be a guy who's known for years, like Danny?
why do i have to have so much pain and begin to cry by the start of your name, or this song?
we were just ******** happy.
we had that ******** puppy love.
then it all just went away.
when i got my hair bleached, i kept thinking of skyping with you.
before spring break started, you said we'd be camming a lot.
now i'll just remember this spring break as depression week.
because this whole week, i was just depressed. i had anxiety attacks. i was completely emotionally unstable.
you'll probably bite back at me for this...
but you really didn't analyze anything when danny told you to huh?
well yeah, i don't want to be the chaser for someone who chased for 2 years.
i'll keep trying to delete you from my life.
i'll keep trying to get it to my head that you just left me.
i'll keep trying.
even though it'll take more tears and thoughts of past conversations.
it's just another relationship ruined by a misunderstanding.
by the same guy.
again..