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Lately, there hasn't been a single night where I slept before midnight. It's weary me out incredibly.

I remember in sixth grade, my homework load was so much that I would sleep at midnight, every night.
... And I thought that was late.

Now in junior high, I find myself sleeping at 3:00am after doing my homework, and waking up at 6:10am for extra-curricular practices.

It's tiring, quite literally.

When I arrive home, I sleep. I sleep because I can't stay up, but I would stay up if I could.

When I go on the bus, I sleep. Buses are just comfy though. I'd sleep regardless of whether or not I was tired. Heh. 4laugh

At school lunches, when I'm not doing sports, arranging school activities, or volunteering for school events, or going to intramurals, I sleep. It is unlikely that I'll have a free lunch anymore.

I remember sleeping at lunch for my first time this year. I was like, "Wow. Why did I not think of doing that before?"

Sleep is beautiful. It's like a distant friend that supports me when I need it. It also drags me away (or in some cases, brings me closer to) the stressful things in life.

What I like most about sleep would probably have to be my psychic dreams. I'm not too confident in them, but time and again, my predictions came true. It's so accurate sometimes that I convince myself I'm special.

Everyone is special in their own way, I guess.

These dreams prepare me for the upcoming events of life. I think that everyone has the same types of dreams. The only thing that differentiates me from anybody else is that I have the ability to remember my dreams for a longer period of time.

Deja Vu? Yes, yes. I'm all too familiar with it. blaugh

The problem is, I procrastinate to such an extent where I have to stay up late often. So often, in fact, that my brain can't handle it.

I'm also seeing that I'm having hallucinations again.

When I was a kid, and I just moved into the house I'm currently residing at, I had hallucinations. Mainly auditory hallucinations, but there was the occasional visual hallucinations.

Recently, I've found that my body has been experiencing tactile hallucinations. I feel people, cold people, trying to hurt me.

It scares me.

When I was younger, I would hear my name being called time and again. I would respond, only to laugh at it later when I realized the voices came from my head.

"Lucia!"
"Yeah? ...Yes? Oh, it was just my imagination. Hahaha! mrgreen "

I would see a shadow of a beautiful women cross my room every night. I would watch her, every night, as she passed. I called out to her a few times, but never did I get any feedback.

And then came the footsteps and light toggling. I would hear someone walk into my room, and one time, someone turned off the light.

I'll explain.

It was late at night. I suffered from mild dehydration because I developed the fear of being chased down the stairs by an invisible force. The water dispenser was on the floor below (it still is) so stair were crucial to reach a drink.

I was, as I did often, writing in my journal. Back then, I used a paper journal. I kept it at the side of my bed. In fact, it's still there. I used to take it out, write an entry, draw a bit, and put it away.

I was writing, like any other day, when I hear footsteps.

"Parents," I thought, and I quickly closed my journal, keeping my finger as a tab, and laid on it.

The footsteps came closer and closer, and I heard my lamp switch being turned off.

Take note that I used to sleep with a night lamp.

I thought it was my dad. He didn't normally turn off my light, but he did sometimes. I question it now whether it was my dad in previous times before this incident.

The footsteps left, or so I thought. I took out my journal, and I wrote about what happened. I wrote about how I had to end the entry short because I couldn't write well in the dark, and just as I was about to finish up, the light turns back on.

It took several minutes for me to conjure the courage to turn and look. There was no one at my lamp.

In the morning, I asked my parents. They said they had not turn off my lamp, and that maybe it was a dream.

I assure you it was not a dream though. You know how I know? The journal entry. I still have it.

I'm lucky that I did not see anyone. If I did, I would never be able to sleep. That's that.

So you see, I have a past of hallucinations... mainly due to dehydration and sleep deprivation.

Now, it has just gotten a whole lot worse. The hallucinations became more violent, more frequent. I hear more voices, I see more vivid shadows, and now I feel them.

These shadow, these faces, these hands and blood, they're everywhere, and I can't avoid it.

It scares me.

Dear God, it scares me.

I'm slowly breaking now, I realized. My mentality is being worn away, bit by bit. I don't know if it's just lack of water, sleep and relaxation, or if it's something else.

I need someone to help me. By the time anyone reads this, I hope that I will have fixed my problem. For the time being, I'll try my best to cope with it.

Thanks for reading. I'd love help, whether it's through messages or, well, messages. xp I mean, like, private messages or instant messages. I'm open to most friend requests.

Even if this journal entry gets old, I would still appreciate your words. That is, if you have any.

If anyone has these same problems, that'd take a load off me, really.

Goodnight if it's night and, once again, thanks for reading!