FACADE STAGEPLAY
Wed Aug 22 14 28 04 2012
GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?
TRIP
What, Grace... this?
GRACE
Yes, you know how I feel about it -- -- (interrupted)
(Adam knocks on the front door.)
(Adam knocks on the front door.)
(Adam knocks on the front door.)
(Adam knocks on the front door.)
TRIP
Uhp, he's here!
GRACE
What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now!
TRIP
No, he's supposed to be here now!
GRACE
God... Trip!
(Trip opens the front door.)
ADAM
Hey
TRIP
Adam!!
ADAM
You look fabulous
(ADAM hugs trip.)
TRIP
Ah I'm so happy you could make it! We haven't seen you in so long, how's it going, man?
ADAM
Good, and you?
TRIP
Ha ha ha!
TRIP
Wow, it's so great to see you after so long.
ADAM
You look wonderful
TRIP
Y -- yeah, yeah...
TRIP
Well come on in!
ADAM
It has been awhile, hasn
TRIP
Uh, it'll be just a sec while I go get Grace...
TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)
TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)
(ADAM picks up the advice ball.)
(The advice ball reads, "Why Not" wink
(ADAM puts down the advice ball.)
TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)
(ADAM sits on the couch.)
(ADAM gets up from the couch.)
GRACE
Adam,
GRACE
Hi! How are you? Oh it's so nice to see you, it feels like it's been forever!
ADAM
Hey Grace!
GRACE
Oh, H-mmm (happy smile sound)
ADAM
How are you?
GRACE
Oh we're good, we're good... um... Yes!
GRACE
Yes, so, make yourself at home!
ADAM
Good.
TRIP
I'm just going to go close the door.
ADAM
Thanks, I will.
(ADAM sits on the couch.)
GRACE
Uh...
(Trip closes the front door.)
GRACE
So, Adam, I'm hoping you can help me understand where I -- (interrupted)
PHONE
** RING **
PHONE
** RING **
TRIP
Oh, I'll get it --
GRACE
No, no, we have a guest, we can let the answering machine pick it up.
PHONE
** RING **
PHONE
** RING **
TRIP
Grace, no, I want --
GRACE
Trip, please dear, don't be rude.
ANSWERING MACHINE
** click **
ANSWERING MACHINE
You've reached the fabulous new home of Grace and Trip. Leave us a message!
GRACE
Why, are you expecting a phone call?
TRIP
No, are you?
ANSWERING MACHINE
** beep **
ANSWERING MACHINE
Grace, this is your father, I thought I'd call to see how my lovely daughter is doing.
GRACE
No...
ANSWERING MACHINE
I want you and Trip to come up to the house this weekend, your mother and I are throwing a party for a senior VP at the firm, and you should be there.
TRIP
Oh, it's your parents! I'll get it --
GRACE
Trip, Trip, please, I don't want to talk to them right now...
TRIP
I want to say hello --
GRACE
No no, Trip, we're entertaining a friend in our new apartment...
ANSWERING MACHINE
Oh, and be sure to arrive early, I want to talk to you about this business about why you won't be attending your mother's Christmas Eve gala.
GRACE
the last thing I want to do is talk to my parents.
ANSWERING MACHINE
(clear throat) So, that's all. Uh, goodbye.
ADAM
He sounds annoying
(ADAM gets up from the couch.)
TRIP
Um, uh, wait...
TRIP
You think I'm...
TRIP
angry...
ADAM
No.
TRIP
Ho ho ho, ha, heh you're -- you're really joking around tonight, aren't you, ha ha ha...
GRACE
Ha, yeah, ha ha...
TRIP
Ha ha, heh, never afraid to say anything that pops into your mind, ha heh heh... -- (interrupted)
(ADAM picks up the advice ball.)
(The advice ball reads, "Never" wink
ADAM
Whats this?
TRIP
Oh that -- that's just a little joke advice giver toy thing that I like to consult now and then...
(ADAM puts down the advice ball.)
ADAM
oh.
TRIP
when I need a little -- (interrupted)
TRIP
Yeah!
TRIP
Heh heh, Adam, seeing you brings back good memories, you know?
ADAM
Yeah
TRIP
Yeah, uh, we -- we've -- uh, we've missed you.
ADAM
I missed you too
TRIP
Oh, ha ha, thanks --
GRACE
Adam, you're always so sweet to us. Isn't he sweet.
TRIP
(clears throat)
ADAM
Thanks
TRIP
So, yeah, I just realized!
ADAM
What?
TRIP
Uh, well, remember how you introduced us almost exactly ten years ago tonight?
ADAM
Yep.
TRIP
We really want to thank you for years and years of...
GRACE
Pain.
ADAM
Why pain?
TRIP
Uh, n - n - no, heh, it's, uh -- it's great you could be here tonight.
ADAM
Good.
GRACE
Well, we're all friends here...
ADAM
Yep
GRACE
Y -- yeah, no, wait, what's wrong, Trip?
GRACE
Trip, there's nothing wrong with disagreeing in front of our friend --
TRIP
Disagreeing?! We're NOT disagreeing.
ADAM
How about some drinks?
TRIP
Yeah, hang on, ooh, I'm going to make you one of my fabulous drinks in just a minute, heh!
GRACE
Uhh, Adam, please don't encourage him.
ADAM
Okay
(ADAM picks up a trinket 5.)
ADAM
Whats this?
(ADAM puts down a trinket 5.)
ADAM
Can I have some wine?
TRIP
Wait, Adam, where -- where are you going?
ADAM
Nowhere.
TRIP
Heh... this is nothing... we -- we -- we're just... she's...
ADAM
What?
TRIP
Uh, heh heh, I'm always trying to give us the best stuff, you know, but she doesn't, she'd, she doesn't, I don't know...
ADAM
I think its nice
GRACE
Trip?
TRIP
Yes?
GRACE
Trip?
TRIP
What?
GRACE
Trip, are you there?
TRIP
Yes, what?
TRIP
uhh...
ADAM
Is something wrong?
TRIP
Hey -- hey, uh... Adam,
TRIP
I meant to tell you, we're going to have this big, big party next weekend.
TRIP
Do you -- do you think you can make it?
ADAM
Sure
TRIP
Sweet...
TRIP
Hey, hey, uh -- why don't you, um... invite that woman in accounting you were telling me about... um...
ADAM
Maria?
TRIP
What was her name...
TRIP
Vivian?
ADAM
Ah, yes.
GRACE
Who?
TRIP
Uhh... Oh! Uh, it's, uh, she -- she -- she's a, she -- she's this interesting woman that, uh, our friend works with.
ADAM
Do you like Vivian?
TRIP
She's, uh... into what, skydiving... or was it scuba diving...?
GRACE
Adam, you've been telling Trip about interesting women at your work?
ADAM
No
TRIP
What? Grace, honey, you know, we're always trying to invite new people to our parties, keep things fresh...
GRACE
Fresh?
TRIP
um...
GRACE
Trip, if you want to invite fresh young women to our parties, you do that. Don't let me stop you.
TRIP
Grace...
GRACE
You know, ever since we got married, Trip is forever trying to get me to buy new furniture, and redecorate,
GRACE
and -- and it's true, I kind of enjoy it but...
TRIP
Well, yeah, it's great, everybody loves it when they come in and see our latest decoration scheme!
GRACE
But, -- (interrupted)
ADAM
yes
TRIP
No no, no no, see, Grace loves expensive furniture, she...
TRIP
grew up in this really nice house, with really nice couches and fancy dishes, and, and she can't live without this stuff.
GRACE
So, about my decorating...
ADAM
Is that true Grace?
TRIP
Ah, yeah, Adam, I knew you'd like it.
TRIP
See Grace you don't realize how good this all looks -- and, and how good you look!
GRACE
(annoyed sigh)
GRACE
(little sigh) So I just had to have this style...
GRACE
but... dammit, I'm wrong, it is just not coming together at all!
TRIP
Not coming together... what?
ADAM
I think it looks nice
GRACE
What?
TRIP
Aha, I knew it, I was right Grace, you're the only one unhappy with your decorating --
GRACE
But, uhh, no, decorating is not... not...
ADAM
Not what?
GRACE
Uhh, if we talk about my decorating anymore I'm going to go crazy.
ADAM
Okay. How about drinks?
GRACE
If I hear one more reference to alcohol tonight, I'm going to be worshipping the porcelain god. (frustrated sigh)
ADAM
Okay...
(ADAM picks up the advice ball.)
(The advice ball reads, "Yes" wink
(ADAM puts down the advice ball.)
TRIP
Oh, Adam, I thought you might like this photo I just put up from our recent trip to Italy.
GRACE
Uhh, it's a beautiful picture of the Italian countryside, of course he'll like it!
TRIP
Grace, I know you don't like it, but our friend might.
GRACE
(short petulant sigh)
GRACE
By the way, anybody, join me on the couch if you like.
ADAM
Sure.
TRIP
N -- no, no, heh -- w -- wait...
(ADAM sits on the couch.)
GRACE
Adam, this is making you uncomfortable. See Trip, was it really worth it to fly us all the way to Italy so you could take that inane picture?
GRACE
(little sigh) I'll take the picture down later tonight before I go to bed.
TRIP
Grace...!
TRIP
(short petulant sigh)
(ADAM gets up from the couch.)
TRIP
Adam, this trip to Italy was meant to be our second honeymoon.
GRACE
Oh, was that what it was? Huh, I'm always the last to know.
TRIP
Grace, I wanted us to spend some time together...!
GRACE
Trip thinks carting me off to Europe will, how did you put it, thaw me out a little bit?
TRIP
Uhh, you're driving me insane!
TRIP
Carting you off to Europe...
ADAM
You guys, calm down.
TRIP
Huh? What is this you're saying?
GRACE
(impatient sigh) Adam, can you believe this?
ADAM
No.
TRIP
Alright, yeah, fine...
GRACE
Your goddamn drinks....
GRACE
Trip, all this stuff you do, you're just trying to make us look like we're some kind of perfect happy couple! Like we're so happy!
TRIP
Oh, Jesus...!
GRACE
You're the only one unhappy...
GRACE
You don't think I could cut it as an artist! Do you! I know it, you don't think I can!
TRIP
Oh, Christ...!
GRACE
Alright, you know what, Adam,
GRACE
I need to ask you something.
TRIP
Grace --
GRACE
Trip, let me ask our guest a question.
GRACE
Adam, yes or no...
GRACE
Do you think it's _wrong_ for one person in a marriage to listen _too much_ to the other?
TRIP
What?
ADAM
No
GRACE
What...?!
ADAM
Yes
GRACE
Oh, okay... fine...
GRACE
Goddammit! How can I be happy when you act this way, Trip? Huh? I'm miserable!
TRIP
Oh, Christ...!
TRIP
Yeah, go on, get out of my face!
TRIP
I can't stand frigging looking at you!
TRIP
Oh... s**t!
GRACE
Goddammit!
(ADAM comforts grace.)
GRACE
Adam, I can't believe you have to see this...
ADAM
Grace, It's okay
GRACE
No, wait, please...
TRIP
Grace, are you talking about me?
GRACE
I'm not talking to you!
GRACE
Adam, (annoyed sigh) Trip can just be so...
TRIP
Oh, we're talking about me again, are we?
GRACE
What?
GRACE
Trip, it's your fault -- ten years ago, freshly married and just out of college, you convinced me to go into advertising, instead of art!
TRIP
What?
GRACE
If it weren't for you, I could be a real artist by now.
TRIP
Uhh... Adam, uhh...
ADAM
What?
TRIP
That's bullshit.
GRACE
Uhh...
GRACE
Look, why don't we talk about us, our relationship.
GRACE
What makes me the most angry, Trip, is what you took away from me.
TRIP
What?
GRACE
I wasted ten years in this marriage, making advertisements, and redecorating our apartment!
TRIP
Uhh! Adam, uhh...
TRIP
Let's talk some more about us both.
ADAM
Okay
TRIP
Adam, you think this is all my fault, don't you?
ADAM
No, not at all
GRACE
Yes?
ADAM
No.
GRACE
No?
ADAM
Yes.
GRACE
Yes?
ADAM
Yes
GRACE
Yes?
ADAM
Yes
TRIP
No, don't, don't talk me right now...
GRACE
Damn it, Trip, you and my parents are always planning these stupid trips I have to go on..
TRIP
They're vacations! Expensive ones at that!
GRACE
Of course nobody thinks to ask me what I want.
ADAM
What do you want, Grace?
GRACE
What?
TRIP
Ah, you want to know more. Thank you, that helps her. Grace, you never want to go on vacation with me and your parents - so I have to plan everything!
GRACE
Uhh..
TRIP
Okay, okay, let's talk about Grace.
ADAM
Okay
TRIP
Grace, I don't think you really do want us to quit our jobs, lead a simpler lifestyle.
GRACE
What? Trip, you know what I --
TRIP
Oh come on! You grew up with a silver spoon in your mouth. You can't live any other way.
TRIP
No we need -- we need to talk about us both, not just one.
ADAM
Yes.
GRACE
I think Trip's afraid of visiting his parents. He does everything he can to avoid seeing them.
TRIP
Afraid of my parents?! My parents are idiots.
GRACE
No, it's true...
ADAM
why?
GRACE
Why?
GRACE
Ah, that helps him.
TRIP
What!? That's ridiculous. Why would I -- why would I be afraid of their stupid meatloafs and their tacky house and their crappy wine...?
ADAM
I would be afraid.
GRACE
Let's keep talking about us, our relationship.
ADAM
Okay.
GRACE
Adam, it's time that Trip finally just admits that our marriage --
TRIP
Grace, don't, no, you don't need to --
GRACE
Admits that our marriage is not --
TRIP
Stop it, stop it! (annoyed sigh)
GRACE
Uhh...! God...!
GRACE
Let's keep the focus on us, our relationship.
GRACE
You know what's so annoying, is when you pretend to be all 'romantic'!
ADAM
Yes
TRIP
What...?
TRIP
Yes?
TRIP
Grace, I'm not 'acting' when I'm being romantic... God damn...!
GRACE
(frustrated sigh)
TRIP
Adam, give me some advice here...!
TRIP
Okay, okay, let's talk about Grace.
GRACE
See, Adam, Trip always says, Grace, you're the only person I've ever loved...
GRACE
and I'm the only person you've ever loved...
ADAM
Ew.
TRIP
So yeah, I think we just need to realize that, that's all...
ADAM
Are you cheating on Grace?
TRIP
Okay, I've had enough of this bullshit!!
TRIP
Adam, I know what you're hinting at, okay?!
ADAM
What?
TRIP
about me...
TRIP
Do you really want the truth? Huh?
ADAM
Yes
TRIP
Adam, do you want to hear it?
ADAM
Yes, I do.
TRIP
Grace?
GRACE
Yes...!
TRIP
Adam, see I've actually been paying close attention to what you've been saying.
ADAM
And?
TRIP
You've been pushing me tonight.
TRIP
It makes me wonder if you're really my friend or not.
GRACE
Trip!
ADAM
I am your friend!
TRIP
Adam, Quit interrupting me, let me finish!
TRIP
Adam, come on -- yes or no...
TRIP
Do you really think that...
TRIP
praising me...
TRIP
praising Grace...
TRIP
not defending me when I asked you if I was to blame...
TRIP
and what you said about giving advice to your wife...
TRIP
that I'm supposed to realize something about myself from all that?
ADAM
No.
TRIP
No? Huh... I'm surprised you say that, I thought it did.
ADAM
I'm sorry.
TRIP
Okay... look... heh heh... (big sigh)
TRIP
Adam, We're... we're actually fine... everything's fine...
ADAM
You sure?
GRACE
Yeah... yeah.
TRIP
And no you, you -- you don't have to be nice anymore, heh, we're -- we're fine...
ADAM
Okay.
TRIP
If you need to go, you know, that -- that's -- that's fine...
ADAM
I want to stay.
GRACE
Thank for you coming over, it was... nice.
ADAM
No problem.
TRIP
You know, Adam, we're fine, nothing's changed... we'll see you out.
ADAM
Okay.
TRIP
No, no more need to be nice, okay?
(Trip opens the front door.)
ADAM
See you next weekend?
TRIP
So, ah, we'll, uh, we'll -- I'll give you a buzz later, or, um, or something.
ADAM
Okay. Bye
(ADAM hugs trip.)
ADAM
Bye Grace
GRACE
Adam, please...
ADAM
D:
(ADAM points to the elevator button.)
(ADAM points to the elevator button.)
(ADAM points to the elevator button.)
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