If I had the ability to tell you everything that I always wanted to say.
I would start right here.
This journal I have.
That I'm writing right now.
Everything I wrote on here was partly or mainly what I felt when I was lonely, sad, afraid...
Happy, and even mad.
I would of told you everything. Only if we had a little more time back then. I would have been able to see what I had, and it was you.
Slowly I'm getting a little better... less dreams.. less of you in me.
Slowly I'm realizing "Yeah it was nice for a while to be with you.."
but I have to really face the fact that I can't do that anymore.
I can't think of you like that anymore.
You're just a friend.
We were always friends.
We should of just stayed that way.
but I was selfish.
I wanted you.
I wanted you for myself.
I wanted to hold you.
I wanted to take care of you.
I wanted to touch you.
I wanted to kiss you.
I wanted to see you.
To be with you..
All my life I wanted to be with you..
I wanted you're smile..
I wanted you to only look at me..
but I couldn't.
I couldn't have you...
nor you're smile..
nor you're kiss..
nor you're sweet goodbye..
I left it all behind.
What was left was just sad memories of us.
Fighting..
Crying...
Regret..
You're eyes..
The way you looked at me..
and the way I turned away from you..
The only thing I said was "Goodbye and Thank you.."
and just walked away from you're life..
What I should of said was.. "I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry.. that I hurt you so deeply. I'm sorry... sorry..."
-Rei
Favorite song right now is.
The rain
by Joe Hisaishi
