It has started to rain again in Sf and it feels more like home than ever. I just feel so peaceful with the rain. The cloudy days and wet pants clinging to my legs, the rainboots and cold wind brushing against my cheek like a lover.
Ah. Speaking of such, Josh contacted me. He apologized for how he acted. Lol. It feels so long ago, yet at the same time, my heart still beats in those little trills. The memory of his kiss and the way he felt just makes me whole body feel so alive. I crave the touch again. It is kind of nice to feel it once more, to be reminded that there is a part of me that wants to be loved still. The feeling is not strong but, it is there like that little hummingbird heartbeat.
I got my tablet to work so now I'm trying to set myself up to make an art shop. I don't think I could ever quest for things in the charity thread =A= I would feel too guilty and awkward. I need to "earn" the gold. I think an art shop would be good for me. The experience would make the tablet more friendly for me. I have the time all next week to be online since I don't want to do home. XDD
Seriously, the rain has put this shine on my little world. Even though I know there is mud at the bottom of my pond, the more that it fills with the new water, the prettier I feel, the more at peace. I sometimes hope that a fish or other companions will join me but I know those are faraway glimmers, cast by the reflection of the other drops filling me up. The water hurts sometimes, the pounding gets so intense but as long as it doesn't hail, I think I'll be fine. I can only imagine my sadness if the sun were to come out and steal away my water so soon. So very soon...
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Fragmented Self who wanders through life like a dreamer and wades through the river of dreams as though it were the only truth left in this world
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