feeling stupid.
Ive decided to stop caring. and yet my brain wont let me >.<" I dont want to think about him any more, dont want to realize that he is talking to and being normal to everyone except me. That he doesnt say hi, doesnt respond. I'd accepted that he didnt want the stupid thing, and got rid of it, but now he has it back and im just not included anymore, just those few- the important ones... and im not one of them. Am I being too concerned over things that do not matter, things that I dont need to worry or care about. Am I being over-dramatic about something that isnt that big of a deal? ...does it mean anything or am I just being rediculous... I know that there is nothing to be this upset about and yet I cant get out of my mind how I picture him and how I feel--yet I can tell that he doesnt feel the same and it hurts to know that Im so unimportant that he can ignore and not respond to me when he does for everyone else....
then again im also like aka you need to calm down and not be so dramatic, he's obviously goin through some shiet and isnt completely there always, kinda like he is distracted about something... Im not sure what it is but he seems to be worried about something, and anytime I try to talk, to help or anything he either ignores me or says nothing and so I cant even try to help him. why do people have to be so difficult when somebody wants to get close, wants to help?
maybe I am that awful. not even good enough to be his friend? oh well, time to move on...or try...
gonk I suck at this game.
--Now im thinking: I dont want to go to paris--
