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So....Yeah.
Haven't written in a bit and wanted to talk. I miss my friends a bit, they've been planning stuff and doing stuff but I've kinda been excluded as of late. Apparently there was a problem and instead of them telling me I was a jerk they sorta mauled it over and cut me out of everything...but I don't do the same to them because I have no idea what's up till I hear about things later and have a "Ehhh?" moment of truth.

Also had a lot of people call me over dramatic over my feelings getting hurt and stuff over it. Yeah, I get emotional and I know it but it's hard not to and feel horrible when I have to do stupid things to get them to say something is up half the time. Like someone has to get really mad and blow a fuse before something happens and by then there is TONS of feelings and drama behind it and on top of it so it gets way off track you know?

Anyways, Letting it go and just hoping that when I plan something they feel welcome enough to come. Who wants to grow a pair or a backbone when people all just think your a b***h suddenly when you decide not to be a push over and go out of your way for them anymore? It's like I take a break for me or need to do other things and they completely forget I exist because I cannot be there 24/7, though people who are no longer here are talked of often......it's just weird to me.....and it really hurts and makes me feel deflated.
Meh...

It's probably all petty shtuff, but I still feel the need to talk to someone every once and a while. Have an Ice cream and sit outside talking to people and holding my girlfriends hand and hanging out as a group. Maybe.... I dunno.....Just feel all "Meh" and cruddy about it.

I can comment, Post,Text,call, even write them all I want but I really don't feel noticed by anyone but my girlfriend at the moment.

I mean....three parties and nobody showed up....not a one....even when I planned at least 3 weeks in advance...but they all went to another party.....I dunno...Meh, Feel stupid right now.