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I don't feel like talking to anyone, more so not looking for a conversation.

Just going to jot down some thoughts.

This world in which we existence has cruelty, and it is mostly unfair. Not everyone can have what they want. I understand that. I don't know if I can explain what I mean to your understanding without revealing exactly what I'm not supposed to discuss.

Let's just say this...

I can want and need him, and vice versa me. If I do, great things are at stake. Secrets. My secrets.

This particular thing should not be this difficult. This is so ridiculous. When I hide what I feel, my emotions build up, like a timer ticks of seconds. When I explode, it's never good. It slowly gets better. I used to just snap whenever.

I'm depressed when I'm not with my friends.

When without him.

Today he said he doesn't want to see me frown, that's he's going to make sure I'm smiling the whole time I'm with him. It was hard not to flush, I had to hide my face redface He amazes me.

I'm not really wanting to show you this caring, mushed up side of me right now, so.

I leave you with a.. <3 I hope your lives are filled with people who make your heart soar, your being infinite, and you know them to be true.












P.s. I feel as if I am withering away, from various things. Only you know (and those who slice at me slowly, unaware and uncaring). Te amo. I mean it. If I don't know you, it could have been something to. I needed this somewhere.