well since my mom wanna make me a 15th party yesterday we looked for some dresses, and I didn't like any of them x3 they were amm like a cake dress, and ewww >w<, I tried a pink and a blue one but nah it didn't change my opinion. I also tried wedding dresses and I umm kinda like those but the problem is that obviously those are white and I dun want a white dress x3 so umm I searched for some designs on the internet so I can see a designer and tell him how I want my dress and he can make it. Bck into the wedding dresses x3 I wish yu could see my dad face when I had the dress on xDD he was like about to faint >w< so I told him: "where's my boyfriend?" and his face changed to stare and I was laughing a lot >w<
So after that umm we went back to home and I talked with Gabzi about the party thing, and he said that he's nervous about this thing and all that, I really wish he can come but if he can't I won't be mad or something, and also he told me that his mom catched him with a knife, and I really was like O.O!! whattt!, that made me feel so sad, and make me thing "is he that sad or stressed or something to even think in do something like that?", also I think "am I part of the problem?"..... I really dun want Gabzi to make the mistakes that I did on the past, and well idk I'm kinda....confuseed?, cuz well since I'm with him I haven't thinked about dead and cut myself and all that stuff (in real, not playing) and well if we does think in that stuff.... makes me think that he's not really happy with me, that I'm just making the problem worst.... but idk.....
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