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If I say a sixteen year old can change the life that I been threw in the past then I can say it might be possible due to the fact that a hope is still alive somewhere at the back of my mine.
Those who are hurt by my own words and hurt because of the misunderstanding then I think the person who is the most wrong is myself!
What people don’t know is the memory that I am going thru right now or I am thinking due to the fact it something that haunts me the most and it’s hard enough for me to live my life as a normal human no more due to the fact my mother, brother, grandmother and grandfather are always banging me with words I think no one would understand.
I don’t care if people thinks I am strange and that I should forget the past, once I try to forget the past by changing my name, who I was born as and what my past was like when I talk about them and how happy I was back then.
All these dramas I had to go threw in life, do you understand how hard it is for me, all I ever I wished to hear was, “I will be there to support you, we are nothing but a family…” but sadly I never heart any of those words in my hold life, I am the only one that is talking those words out.
I’ve been nice threw out my hold life supporting my own family, but then again I am suffering the karma that belongs to me and it’s hard to wash away… I treasure all the relationship I been threw in the past, but right now… what I want to say is that life is special no matter how young you are, there are some time you wouldn’t understand how the teenager thinks about their family and how they think of their relationship they are going thru with the one they love.
You’re still young, you don’t know how many young people are ending their own life due to personal problems, and how I been through those problems in my past youth, everyday on the news I would hear another young life has been taken away by their own choice and wills are left behind for their mom and dad, some of the reason is because no one is there to listen to them and other problems are there are no one to know they are bully by other people.
No matter how sensitive you are, there is a time I want to say my life is hard for you to understand what keeps me alive is a support I have for myself, but that support isn’t love itself but hate that makes me go thru a wound that my family open on me… some day on the news the next victim would be me for the stress and pain I am going threw in life, but will I ever make that choice is up to myself really.. all I want to say is that I love you all and that I will be there to help those who cares about me.
The best thing in life isn’t happiness itself but hope… as long as that hope can stay live you can find that love… for me that love is a long journey… maybe I miss Jason too much, and the refection I see from you Ryuu is his kindness… and sensitiveness.