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My life is stressful and unpleasant overall.

I finished the first group project in my theatre class Monday. We were good and it is done. Right after I had to rush home and get ready for porfolio night but I wasn't feeling well at all. I went anyway and got free food at least. Tuesday I had my midterm, which I had no clue about the information but cheated and got most of the information. Everyone else was cheating too so don't even start with me there! Wednesday was stocking up the fridge cause I had no food and there was a giant commotion in SF cause the Giant's won the World series so Muni was hell and it literally took me five hours to go get a sketchbook, which should have only taken two hours max. I came home exhausted because I couldn't sit that entire time and was running through the crowds. My claustrophobia was on red alert so it was really hard for me to breathe when walking through the crowds and even when I wasn't surrounded I felt trapped so I was scratching and breathing hard. Stupid pot and cigarette smoke was everywhere and people were trashing SF like no tomorrow. It was terrible. Tomorrow I have three projects due, none of which I have started. Friday I get to sleep.

Next week I am going to Chicago, leaving Wednesday and getting home Sunday afternoon which means I won't be online until Monday most likely. It is my Aunt's birthday and I will be spending time with my Aunt, Mom, Grandma, and Cousin Madeleine in Chicago. It's gonna be super fun but it also means I will not be around for my group before our presentation. I've just about had it with school right now.

I can't say the things I want to say, even now and here in this journal. For example, when I met one of Dev's friends (won't name him just in case) at the party last Friday, I was HAPPY to see his scars. I thought they were beautiful. I was moved by the sight of them; it brought a smile to my face and the image kept me happy when I thought about it the next day. And this brings up an important issue to me, cutting is a gateway drug. It opens doors that should not be opened. Cutting is a self expression used on the body, which can be taken the wrong way. Because it is such an extreme method of self expression most people assume it is always a cry for help. Obviously it is not always the case but a lot of the time it is the case. I don't pretend to know everything about the subject. Anyway, because cutters are looked on as strange for their unusual and extreme method of expression they feel excluded from society and their feelings only multiply. This is what can help lead to suicide, which brings me back to my point of how cutting is a gateway drug. It is not only addictive but it presses people to dive further into the mutilation till it takes their life. Whatever, just another thing I wanted to say but didn't think it was appropriate C: