Inane Rambles of Academia
1. The Moth Escaped Unharmed
Assignment - Entomology
Cutting off your specimen's head and abdomen without academic purpose is a breach of class ethics, kiddo. I'll have to consult the dean on this one.
Disembodiment techniques aren't incredibly impressive anymore. We all know how to get rid of the avatar's head and legs, and frankly, if that's something you can't figure out at this point in Gaia's tenure, then shame on you.
Lacking in technical prowess we would hope the assignment would have some poignancy in portraying a thesis, but even that is sketchy. Pop culture and depth of thought run inversely proportional, kiddo. Its not even to the story. Your crew member is supposed to hurl himself off the side of the hull, and curling up into a fetal position is far from an accurate representation.
Hehe. Haha. Hehe. You hit a pop culture nerve and got a giggle. But if you have any interest in making it in this world, kiddo, you're gonna have to leave the undergrad humor behind at some point.
Verdict 3/10.
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2. Flying Bacon
Assignment - "Home Economics"
I can't even call this undergrad humor, kiddo, that writhing obsession with bacon being funny is barely even appropriate of a high school sophomore.
Verdict: 1/10.
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3. Burning Nature
Assignment - Organic Chemistry
Did you even bother with your stoichiometry equations? Now the lab's on fire. Now since I couldn't possibly even image one of my students skimping on their stoichiometry, I can only assume that was your intention. That's arson, kiddo.
The plumage of fire behind the art nouveau circle, accented by the butterflies, is a nice touch but is lost in those tiny embers which breach from behind. And as quaint as it is, it is certainly not enough to redeem the blaise prom dress avatar of full body dress with expensive hair, lips, and eyes.
Take those fish back to the biology room. I will hear nothing about this interdisciplinary studies bull s**t in my laboratory!
Verdict: 3/10.
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4. Contemplation of a Pale Buffoon
Assignment - Advanced Self Deprecation
I knew this one would be a disappointment the moment I saw him enter my classroom the mirror.
Verdict: na/10.
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5. Fighting a Wyvern
Assignment - Creative Writing 102
Cute story, kiddo. I'm not saying pulitzer prize or anything of that damn nature but its sure enough to entertain some niche of the high school population.
The story elements just seem a little bit forced in here. It almost seems inadvisable to even include the wyvern, as bulky and awkward its pixellation is compared to most companion items. And although he wields a sword, the spear which killed the wyvern in the actual EI story is clearly visible. The background involving living wyvern just sort of mucks up the surroundings with wind, and his nose is poking out from behind the corpse. Shrodinger's wyvern? Save that bullshit for your physics professor. I won't tolerate deus ex machinas in this class!
And stripping away the mess of background, the avatar itself isn't all that impressive. Basic matching avatar with expensive items, simple layering, and scum-drenched forced matching elements like the armbands over the gloves.
There's just not much intrigue in hijacking the previously constructed EI story and tacking in a barely above average matching avatar, and calling it a day.
Verdict: 4.5/10
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6. Buccaneer Booty
Assignment - Self-sustaining Economics
This assignment seems to be suggesting the invisible hand of the market is packing heat.
I'm immediately assaulted by how awkward the pile of coins takes up space in comparison to the avatar. Somehow, the pile of coins at the far left is front of her booze bottle, but behind her body. She's stepping on a coin, and field of space her treasure chest is occupying seems so close its as if it was painted onto the screen. Ultimately, the kitschy props just don't seem necessary for portraying the theme, or at the very least, just settled with the treasure chest.
The clothing itself is particularly keen, if only a wide spread of accents peaking through a suitable, yet overwhelming coat. Her facial expression is incredibly striking and portrays far more character in and of itself then the setting could ever hope to muster.
Verdict: 8/10
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7. Star Goddes Li-Ha
Assignment - Astronomy 101
This assignment seemed to jar on for pages about how astounding stars are, instead of the intricate details of the star system, as assigned.
The assignment seems little more than a swelter of essential matching items so rudimentary they could be used as entrance exam questions for matching 101. There is little layering finesse beyond the particularly striking way the crown and wig mold into a single, unified object. The background causes the perimeter of the avatar itself to be lost in a sea of overwhelming, light colors. Its like looking into the stars, only to discover nothing of significance.
Verdict: 3/10.
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8. What's in Your Meat?
Assignment - Alternative Culinary Techniques
This assignment initially got a chuckle out of the class, but later revulsion when discovering she was serious.
And even later, ambivalence when discovering that while serious, the culinary skills were lacking all the same.
It's nice, kiddo. I got a chuckle out of the scene, but why settle there? The clothing is so utterly plain, some blaise black and white three piece with a splash of color. Is this all a themed assignment can muster. While matching should never be forced into a themed avatar, and I'm glad that it was not, that is not an excuse to settle on bland colors. A provoking color palette would have made this assignment much more impressive. Presentation is as important is preparation, in the restaurant business, kiddo!
Verdict: g/10.
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9. Between Acts
Assignment - Stage Management
This stage manager should be axed for letting his actors smoke in between scenes. Yes, the show must go on, however a fire drill may prove to put a damper on things. Or at least make things very damp.
The face seems far too ambivalent to the intended mood of her description. There seems to be no sense either way to the finality of her performance, no sadness, nor relief. And where's the smudge of mascara? That would have been an effective avatar-to-story relation that just seemed to be forgone.
The avatar itself is quaint, yet not entirely impressive. I can enjoy it as a whole but if dissected we just arrive at the same lack of flourish making a matching avatar in a well worn color scheme always lacks. It follows the rules of matching to a 'T' sans the face, and the uniqueness just melts away with each trite detail added in accordance to matching dogma, and not internal inspiration. The face draws me in regardless of its lack of connection to the story, however I'm quickly lost in a sea of listless and irrelevant detail.
Verdict: 6/10.
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10. An Angel's Evolution
Assignment - ENG 190: Manga in Western Society
There's just not much inspiration for criticism in this assignment. It was far too inspired by wild imagination that has not been paired with a well developed skill set. If you are here for some insight as to why this avatar may be ill-received post-voting, it is because it lacks in objective and technical skill that myself and many post-voting commentators tend to favor. This is not an inherent fault as it relies on exposure, but this writhing professor would highly advocate you look into these basic objective avatar qualities to begin your growth as a skilled avatar maker.
Verdict: 1/10
Now let's all move ourselves to the lecture hall to continue today's lesson.