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men are beautiful in their own special way... arent they?... rough and so simple yet very very complex... you can understand them in a heartbeat just to know you were wrong later... but... idk... usually you're right... they just like to mix it up... men are always beautiful in their simple complex way... especially my boy who lives far away... his skin is smooth and creamy and makes me want to drink him away... I wait wantingly... I have for years... yearning to sip him 'till I'm drunk... I want to hold him and be lost in his smell and feel how soft his hair is or how strong his body is... I've wanted to touch to taste to smell to see... to enjoy every ounce of him... to relish in his company... he doesnt really care I'm sure... if I finally could see him I think he might be angry @ me for the visit but... I'll keep waiting and hoping and wishing... I'll keep dieing and crying and crumbling and pulling myself back up from the brink of quitting on everything... because it makes everything worth it when he says he loves me and when I can make him laugh... see his beautiful smile... so beautiful... thinking about it makes my eyes water because I havent seen something that beautiful in so long... I cant wait for the day that I leave this hell behind and turn to the warm protective embrace of his arms... someday... someday when he's ready to turn to mine aswell...