Without having to watch him go
i'm in the worst condition i've been in.
ever.
it's just replaying in my head. that day, the last day.
I'd had an arush. I told myself "Just hurry up. and wait outside, you'll be alone if you do that."
And I did. I finished the test in good time, but as I stepped out of the room, I couldn't wait. I just kept walking and I walked down the stairs and out onto the concrete under the burning sun. and i walked, fast as I could. Down past the strip mall, down past the churches, and the houses and down the alleyways and up the hills and back down again, across the street, away from the crosswalk. and as I sat down when I got home, i cried. turned a movie on, and fell asleep on a couch that was far too small.
if it was meant to be, another chance will come.
right?
i wish i could just. take control of my life.
ignore the voice in my head, and just act on impulse.
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