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I know what it looks like
I think I'd know you feel
I never flet close to you
Never really truly believed you were real
I know it's a horrible thing to say
But I want to tell it like it is
I see you are a great person
And that my emotions got in the way
I never tried to get to know you
But in all reality I feel like you haven't done the same
You may have in the past
My mind might have forgot
But I kept to myself
Never let a single person close
Closed out the world
Let you take the person you loved the most
I put any vivid emotion I felt in a little box
The anger
The sadness
The fear of not becoming what I want
I kept them in there
Forgot them and now they decay
They poisoned me then
Made me believe what was not true
They changed my vision of the world
Turn the blue sky grey and told me to die
But I regained conscientiousness soon
Picked myself up quick
I met a girl you see
But those emotions of inadequacy held me down
Stripped me of my pride
I didn't know what to say
And shortly after, I let her slip away
Her words still echo in my ears
A variation of "befriend the friendless"
But my eyes were still blind
I stripped my mind of the world
Gave up you wife and your daughter
They wanted you more than they did me
You nary made an effort, so neither did I
I was lost in my own thought and the world of a new boy
Changed my persona a bit, but soon shattered like glass
My mind went haywire and I forgot how to think
I spent countless years in the void
2 years became 9
So my body aged before my mind
Then once school ended and the sun came out
I was blasted by memories and negative thought
Another milestone wasted and I was still all alone
But that was my choice and I took it like a man
Took out those latex gloves and began molding the clay
Tossed my work in the kiln and sat back to wait
Soon after I fell asleep
Lost myself in dreams
My eyes skipped open, but fell back to sleep
My mind still fatigued from years of rot
Then I was shot in the arm
You on your deathbed
I put on a mask
Something I've learned to do In my sleep
I put on that mask and played my role
I've learned somthing else now
My emotions are blank
I didn't care that I lost something I never had
But you were always there behind us
A silent shadow pushing us through
But your hands were intangible
When you pushed me, they passed right on through
I had become stone
With a heart just as cold
Learned to live on instinct
Never noticed the venom in my veins
Not until recently did I notice the stars
Never had I tried to grasp the moon
The poisen diminished
My immunities had grown
Fought off disease
I've changed once more
Pulled my masterpice from the flames
Set it up high on a shelf
Left it there to admire
To aspire
To try to mimic you
You are my Father and like a good son should do
Aspire to be a good man like his father and help his mother pull on through