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Hopefully you get on Gaia and See this because I can't tell you all of it when I want to because you posted and ran after I signed off. Even though you told me about it,it was when I couldn't talk to you about it so here's what went through my head. So I found a format that I could say it in and tell you everything, though I already have just so that you know how I'm feeling and How I feel about you and all of this. I'm not mad actually, I'm just really confused and scared that you would think me so untrustworthy so I made it all written out and down so You could see it anytime you needed to. I wish I could call you and tell you all of this, Stupid ******** distance as usual. So please, if you want, I would love for you to read this and know how everything is since you seem so confused and angry at me.

I hate it when I tell people my truth, What feeling I was feeling and how I was related to the situation. I tell them everything and then the have to go to another person to see how they saw it,

I have never had a serious relationship with anyone but one person.
I have never loved anyone but one person. and that person is you.

Sure, I have had girlfriends and boyfriends in title. I have had a Rachel,I have had Andi, I have had these dates and I have had people kiss me without asking. I've been set up by my mother and I've had an few pen pals and a few people who liked me and I said I would be there girlfriend or boyfriend but only in title, Like all of those things before. No emotion behind it, Just sorta doing it because it was expected, or they made me feel like it was only for RP's and silliness.

When I finally have emotion behind asking, It was that I liked you for real babe before you Even asked. I thought you were smart and funny and I clicked so well with you that you had to be a dream. Then on top of it you were beautiful and I lost my heart to you before you even asked for it. Being connected and hoping and wishing and being in love with a real person, Not an avatar, not a chat speak, not a pen pal. A real flesh and blood person that I wanna touch and hold and feel good about, That I wanna spend the rest of my life with and talk to about anything and just be with beyond all reason. I have never talked to any of these people Like I talk to this one person, I feel so bare and I love it. Like my soul has been vomited out and actually accepted! It's not my persona or my status or how I flirt that she loves, It's me and all my quarks. My stupid hair, My crooked smile. She tells me she loves me and I return that feeling so much that I feel like I'll explode if I don't say "I love you" a million times. I don't wanna sleep at night because I wanna see her. I wanna take her on dates and movies and just talk for hours sitting in a park. I want to do things, I want to live up to this person, Not because I am her girlfriend but because I love her and the title could be anything else. Hell it could be Dannie is Bianca's b***h and I wouldn't care because I want to do so much for this girl. I want be with her forever and always and My heart beats so fast when she's around. It's like every cheesy a** love song ever plays in my head when she's around.

I love her, I love her a lot. More then anything I can say because I love you doesn't sum it up.
All this emotions and feelings are bottling up and I want you to know I love you. I know that you get scared, and you panic and have trust issues. You ask what if and what answers and I know I can't answer all of them. Not without meeting you face to face. I do know That I love you, this is the feelings I have. It's not friend love, it's not even Girlfriend love, It's so much more then that. It's feeling like I have found someone I want to spend my life with. My soul mate that I love and cherish each moment with even if it's a tense one, because it was with you. If you have questions, ask me. I will answer them as much as I possibly can. If you feel you can't trust me, Then tell me, please listen to me and I will tell you everything. I always have and I always will. Though I am stupid a lot.A very much lot. I do not keep things from you intentionally. I have never loved anyone and this is coming from every fiber of my being. I have never felt like this over the moon beyond the star feeling I have for you. I wanted to tel you this since I can't tell you it because You have a two hour difference. This is everything in my head right now. I love you. no body else.

I am scared to death that you are looking for a reason to not trust me, to not see me in the next week. Sunday We get the tickets for you to come see me, after almost a year I will be able to see you and fill in all these blanks I can't answer. If you want to hate me and not trust me then do so after you see me. After you can hold me and touch me and See how I react to you. Please let us at least try before you let 'what if' take over any trust and dissolve any love you have for me. It really scares me Babe that You're looking for a reason to leave me because you're scared. As you told me,You want to see me you're just scared. I'm scared as well. I'm terrified actually. But I want to see you. I want the What if's gone. I love you, Please trust in me and believe me when I say I love you.