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I lost my caddymaster's phone number, I'm supposed to caddy this summer again. My older brother was such a great caddy he got a scholarship to Ohio State. Everyone expects me to do the same. I'm never allowed to be myself, I have to be a robot, trying to fill my older brother's shoes. I'm looked down upon, because I'm a girl and "I'll never be as good as my older brother". I feel like I'm wasting my life trying to be like him. I don't want to be like him, I don't want to caddy, I don't want to act like him and I don't want to be compared to him, my parents are expecting me to. I can't stand this.... I'm not even me.... I'm "his little sister". I'll never be anything better, will I? I'm breathing heavy, I'm about to cry, I'm biting my bottom lip so hard I can taste the blood, I have to keep my compusure I don't want them to see me and say "your older brother wouldn't cry like that". I really need someone to talk to right now, my friend isn't awake and my other friend is with his girlfriend so I don't want to disturb them.....
I don't want to see my older brother tomorrow.....