Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Hey Alex.
I understand where your coming from oddly enough. Why do you think my name is Isolated Malicious. Anyways, I can't talk long. Nagging girl that's annoying at times yet an extremely hate-ious b***h, is coming.
First of all, I'm not in that topical. Well category, of individuals you referred to as. Never got that close to you I suppose, in a way at least. Not like I never wanted to, your a cool a** dude to talk to. Funny, creative, a downer when s**t hits the fan but who isn't, a great friend that would cheer up and take s**t for others, at least that's what I remembered from you last... have you changed? My point is. Who wouldn't wanna be friends with you? You try to help out others, even if your life is at times at it's low. you still find the time to help out a friend. Your a good hearted person, yes at times we aren't. But for the most part, you are. In this life, that is a rare thing to find.
Do you think your the only one that wonders that bud, i still wonder how I am. And yes like yourself I know what I like, hate and so on. Well some things there's an exception too. But there are things to look forward too. Self discovery.

Ah yes, last but not least my favorite... love. (Not Really)
Being a bad judge of characters as well, at times at least... I can tell you a few things. Love... STINKS! Yeah, yeah! Haha, Adam Sandler's character in The Wedding Singer never had it more right. Yet once you find that right person you can see yourself growing old with, loving and never wanting to be apart from. Your a lucky SOB. The point is, no one really finds love right off the bat in this life. There's just to many fish out there looking for a fling, rather than a relationship. Anyways, everyone needs love. And in a way you get just that. If it be by family, the love of a good friend, caring person etc. Yet the physical attachment to a person, loving them on a deeper level... it's blissful, yet a bumpy road too. You have to take a chance, risk, open up to the world. Yes that requires getting hurt, and believe me a LOT of people get hurt. I know my share. But does that stop them from finding love? Only the weak. Anyways, we all put up boundaries, walls, have confidence, insecurities, self esteem issues... it's what makes up just one part of who we are. Well I think I've dragged this on far to much... I hope I helped, in anyway.
There are people that care about you Alex.

To answer your first question: I value our friendship for a multitude of reasons. (not that they're listed in any particular order) For starters, there isn't a day with you that I don't learn anything. You're incredibly smart and, well, crazy. Like a mad scientist. You're downright cool to hang out with because with your antics you tend to be the life of the party. You just have this aura about you that tends to lighten up the day. And, despite your hard, crude and blunt exterior I can see a caring, empathic person inside of you.
The topic of wanting to know who you are is something all people have trouble dealing with. That one thing that makes someone complete is something that almost everybody spends their whole life looking for. But not until you've truly experienced every emotion, especially love will you be able to find out. It is possible that you don't know who you are simply because you don't know what it is you're missing.
Love is definitely something that everyone needs. It may seem beyond you because you've yet to feel it... you don't know what it is like, so it is easy to assume what it's like and therefore easy to push away. If you start to push something like that away, it'll only get harder for you to get it.
Yet, you should regret nothing. The environment from which you were raised, how you dealt with those experiences, all of it has made you into who you are. Not a bad person, you know you're good. Someone who is self-sacrificial and caring toward others, a rare person indeed.