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Lately my mind has thinking about Reissa alot. there's nothing that could take my mind off her. In all my efforts to try and get over the end result is...inconclusive.
I've known Reissa for a long time according to my lifetime. I've known her since I was in 6th grade and when I met her I thought we would be best friends becaue we both loved to draw. Turns out five years later we really were best friends, but what abou that time in between.
Well, when I first met Reissa and I found out that she was reallly good at drawing I hung out with her when I could. As 6th grade ended we were pretty good friends. Every Saturday at church me and Reissa and a couple of ther friends would sneak away into another room and just draw away.
Then, when I was in 8th grade, I found out from a friend that Reissa was starting to like me. Being the immature boy I was I started to ignore her. I would do the cruelest things to her like yell and cuss at her. I would embarras her in front of mine and her friends, just so I could boost my self-esteem. I would steak her journals to read them and make fun of them, and one time I even got a hold of all the books she would draw pictures of me and her in and I burned them. This went on for 3 1/2 years and nothing I did kept her away from me. countless times I would consider trying to be her frined again , but I would be afraid of what people would think of me so I would push her away even further.
Finally I gave up pushing Reissa away and accepted the fact that she would always be there for me, regardless of me wanting her help or not. In 11th grade I was finally accepting the fact that Reissa and I were inseperable so I started to be her friend and then best friend, but I avoided getting to close. In time she got a boyfriend and I was happy for her, only temporarily. For some reason I fought strongly to keep them two together so Reissa could move on, but I learned slowly and gradulaly that I had deeply fallen in love with her. There was no denying that there was no one else I wanted to be with. There is no doubt in my mind that this was coincidence rather than fate. For 3 1/2 years she would be there for me and now I'm falling for her.
About a year prior to all this I had prayed to God that I was getting sick and tired of being all alone and to lead me to the person I would be with the rest of my life and that I didn't care who it was, two months after I made that prayer I started to hang out with Reissa, ALOT!!! Six months after I made that prayer I found myself falling for her and I told her because we were best friends and we told eather EVERYTHING. Although alot of people thought we didnt know eachother much I knew everything about her.
I knew how Reissa would react if I told her something in particular. I knew how she would act if she was lying to me. Aside from all of that I loved everything about her. Everytime she acted like an anime character was the cutest thing I ever saw, anytime she would get mad I would always cheer her up and she would always be so thankful, anytime I caught her trying to be sneaky would eave her speechless in laughter, everytime I would make her blush she would try so hard to cover it up and act like it didnt happen. Everything about her was so perfect to me and it still is.
Now-a-days the only time I talk to her, the only way I can, is to argue with her over the stupidest little things. Everyday I wish so badly that I hadn't pushed her away as children. I wish so badly that I wasnt such a jerk to her. I know that the past is the past and there's nothing you can do about it, but we can learn from our mistakes and make the future better but we all lose sight of that when we cant look past the present.
To be continued...