He hugs tighter.
I let him. I want him too hold me. I want him to cover my tears.
I shake.
He says nothing.
“Leon,” I say. My voice muffled by his chest.
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry.”
He chuckles. “Stop saying sorry.”
“That’s all I can think of saying.”
“Okay.”
We stand there. Nothing, being said. Silence is welcomed.
We’re on his bed. Lying on it. My under the covers, him over and next to me. He moves, sitting up.
“Yuki?” he asks.
“Hm?” I turn over to look at him. “What is it?”
He sighs. “I was wondering…who was that guy to you?”
“Who?” I sit up. “Daisuki?”
He nods.
“He’s an old friend.”
“Yeah, but what is you history?” he asks.
“History,” I pause. “It’s complicated.”
“Did you guys date?”
I shake my head. “No, not really.”
“Did you like him?”
“When I was here, yeah.”
“Do you feel the same about him, as you did then?”
I lie back down. How did I feel about him? I haven’t seen him is so long. When I left I lost contact with him and many other friends.
“I don’t think I have any feeling for him anymore,” I say after a few moments of thinking of it.
Leon gets up.
I watch him.
“I think they’ll be worried, if you stay here too long,” he says opening the door.
“Why?”
“You’ve been here for an hour. They might think we were doing something, when we weren’t.”
I nod. They wouldn’t think that though. They know I wouldn’t do anything without thinking over it…
I push my body off his bed, standing up. I make my way towards the door. I look at Leon.
What is he thinking? Does he think I like Daisuki? What does he think of me?
I walk out.
He closes the door without saying a word of good-bye to me.
Click.
It’s locked again.
I turn my head to stare at the door.
The off-white paint is peeling off at the edges. Some small cracks from old age. Why haven’t I ever noticed them while I lived here? Why now when I am going to leave in a few days?
I walk back to my room, ignoring the photos of my past. I didn’t want to see them right now.
I flop down on my bed. “Ugh!” My eye close, darkness engulfs me. Taking me into the depths of itself.
“Yuki?”
I feel myself being shaken. “What?” I ask without opening my eyes.
“Want to go take Ichigo to school?” Ringo asks.
Ichigo…she has schooling today? “Sure,” I say, rolling over and looking at her. “You don’t have anything to do today…do you?”
Ringo nods. “I have school too.”
“Ugh,” I say getting up. “I’m going to be bored today.”
“Aw,” she combs my hair. “No you won’t. You have Leon with you.”
“Leon,” I say. “I don’t think he wants to hang today.”
Ringo frowns. “If you say so. But I’m sure you can find something to entertain yourself.”
“Maybe.”
“Ichigo!” I cry. “Hurry up, or you and Ringo will be late!”
She comes running down the stairs, fixing her hair. “Does this look good? Or does it look odd?”
“It’s good. Very pretty, Ichigo,” Ringo says placing herself next to her twin.
“Thanks, lets go!”
We leave the house.
I watch Ringo and Ichigo wave good-bye as they enter the school. I’m alone now. Leon is at home, most likely sleeping or watching his ceiling or wall.
What should I do? Where should I go?
I sit in the car, looking at the high school in front of me.
This should be my last year here if I still lived here. I wonder how many people from middle school are here. Would they remember me?
I smile.
“ ’Kay,” I say softly to myself. I turn the wheel. “Time to find a place to park.”
I found one nearby thankfully.
I get out and hurry back to the school grounds.
The bell hasn’t rung yet. Good.
I watch everyone around me.
Busy. Talking to their friends, playing some kind of game, texting, anything to pass the time.
I walk slowly toward the main building.
Whispers emerge around me.
I feel their eyes burn on me.
They didn’t know…or maybe they did know who I was.
I smile.
“Who are you?” a voice behind me asks. “You’re not in uniform, so that should mean you do go here.”
I turn to look at who is talking to me.
A balding guy with thick glasses glare at me, shaking his fat sausage finger at me.
“Well?” he asks.
His face is getting red.
Was he getting mad or was that a normal thing? “What are you staring at young lady?”
“Your face,” I say. “It’s getting very red…and now puffy.”
Laughter bursts around us.
“Think you’re funny, don’t you?” he roars. “Who are?”
“I’m Jamila, Yuki,” I finally answer.
Whispers start up again.
“Jamila…” he looks at his clipboard. “No one by that last name goes to this school.”
“I know.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Just looking around.”
“Get out!”
“Why?” I pout. “I was only looking.”
“Trespassers will get in trouble.”
“But, I’m not really a trespasser,” I try to explain. “If I still lived here, this would be the school I would be going to…I just wanted to know what it was like here before I left again.”
“It really is you!” a voice from somewhere cries.
“Huh?” I look around.
Who was that?
A girl stumbles out from the crowd that formed around us.
“Yuki!” she smiles. “Or better yet…the palm-size tiger!”
“Yeah, that is I.”
“The palm-size tiger?” the guy asks.
I nod.
“Yeah!” the girl says. “She’s the famous palm-size tiger sir. If you knew better you wouldn’t mess with her.”
He looks at me.
Did he hear the rumors of me too?
“So, this is the palm-size tiger?” he smiles. “You are pretty small for you age.”
“I’m not,” I say, “Sir.”
He smiles. His eyes look beady as his smile grows.
“I believe you are,” he laughs. “How in the world could a small girl like you do anything bad? I mean you’re harmless. A little bug. Nothing that is important. So tiny. A speck of dust in-”
I punch him in the stomach.
“Oh!” voices around us gasp.
I kick under his feet, knocking him to the ground.
“Sir,” I say, “You’re not that much taller than me. Before you go off saying how short a person is, you should take an account of how short you are. For me it’s okay. I’m a girl, girls are suppose to be short. But what’s your excuse?”
He looks at me. “You’re in big trouble!”
I punch his face, knocking him out. “Idiot,” I drag out the word as he fell to the ground.
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