I finally figured out why I've been sleeping most of my days away. There has been a hole in my heart of which I unconsciously tried to fill with my fantasies in my sleep, hanging out with my friends, or pushing myself on ITG whenever I could. The thing is, I do it all the time... but one thing I haven't done since when I was in King, is hanging out with my Dad.
I realized this when watching My Neighbors the Yamada's the other night. It was the part where the father asked his son, Noboru if he wants to play some catch like they did before. But then Noboru didn't feel like it so the Dad went to play catch by throwing the ball at a wall by himself. Then I thought how my brother and I treat my father the same way... "I don't feel like it...", "I wanna do this though", "I'm too tired, I just had PE/practice/ITG"...
I was so happy and active with my Dad before. We share so many interests together while my friends... it's all split up with everyone so I have to move around to have fun with someone else who enjoys what I want to do. It's not a bad thing but sometimes it gets tiring having to go to a different person to suggest something I'd wanna do. Sometimes it'd be nice if we could do stuff we'd all enjoy together... even at parties, it gets split up. We all know each other however one side of the room is playing yugioh [btw, it doesn't mean that you yugioh-ers should get everyone into yugioh], another side is playing video games or on computers, and the other is talking story and playing around. We all wind up missing everything funny or memorable that happened.
Don't get the wrong idea, I love my friends still. However, I haven't hung out with my Dad. He's not going to be here forever... his pains get bad sometimes and when he's feeling great enough to do something with me or Axell, we just wave him off.
If anyone ever reads my journals still... anyone I know... if it seems I lost interest in you guys because I don't hang with you guys as much... please note that I still love you guys but I gotta spread my love to my Dad. I gotta show him I still love him and wanna do stuff with him. To make him feel like a great, younger, fun and energetic father. To fill that empty socket in my heart. Please feel free to ask to join us. There's always room for more people! ;]
 SikM808 · Sat Jan 30, 2010 @ 08:43am · 0 Comments |
