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Today,

I witnessed a small black Freshman practically raping a girl that had been asking for space between her and him, but he didn't wish to respect that. Trying to help the girl, I pull the little black ******** away from her, and told him not to do that again. Well, it got to the point where he insulted me and I was going to fight that kid there, but I didn't because the school monitors were watching us.

Just a few minutes ago, I thought back to what he said and realized that he was right. He was right that I would never get anywhere near a woman like he did today (although it was practically rape). I let it get me down and when my parents left to see my little bro's basketball game, I drank about two or three beers in the refrigerator, and then harmed myself.

As my resolution this New Year's, I said that I wouldn't do this, but I broke it, just because some punk a** ****** started some s**t with me. So, I proceeded to cry for myself (I know that I am 'too old' for crying, but I still do), until my parents came home. The longer I stay on Earth, the more that I find out I am hopeless, and that life isn't worth living.

Then, I realized that I spent my day playing video games when I got home, which is both bad and sad for me to do. I got the game at 12:00 A.M., which showed I have no life. Once again, I didn't turn in my homework for Math, and am probably failing my P.E. class because that is the only place where I can express myself at all. But, of course, nothing goes right and when I do make 'friends,' they don't want to be around me after school...

And, of course, someone noticed my cuts a few days ago and made fun of me for being 'emo,' although being emo is being a fan of the 'emo' music genre. I happen to have depression, and in no way 'emo.' Luckily the teacher didn't hear about it or I would have to talk about it.

Although I don't want to talk about it, I want to talk about, because I would have one ess thing off my shoulders for the day, but nothing is ever that simple for me, and because of my shyness, I can't ask anyone to talk to me on a delicate subject. And anyways, I have no one to talk to. The only 'friend' I really have refuses to believe I am depressed and that I am just trying to get attention (although I am not).