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Old Relations Vanish, New Ones Are Born
Well, first entry of the year. These past couple days have been....rewarding? I guess that word works. I've come to terms with my falling out with Ryuu. I let her go, of my own free will. My heart aches when I think about it. I love her, and I probably always will. But it hurts even more to be at her side now that all of the events have transpired. I tear up just at the idea of watching her, happy and content without me at her side. I know, its extremely selfish and illogical, but isn't love always like that? Every now and then I'll cry for hours, never knowing why. I was a wreck the first week. I couldn't talk about her, couldn't talk TO her. I avoided her like the plaugue (spelling?), and when she texted me I snapped at her like she burned me with a hot iron. I was so angry. At everything, at everyone. The only solace I had was lunchtimes with Yuzu, listening to comforting music. Well....maybe comforting to me lol. That brings me to my next topic. I always knew Yuzu before this year, but never had any classes with her, never really spoke. I just knew that she was the only GazettE fan around me. ^^;; This year though, we've grown imbossibly close. Every time I walk through the halls, I always watch for her. At lunch if I don't run into her on my way to her locker, I go to her's and wait. She pulled me through my emotional meltdown with comforting words and, dare I say it, jrock humor to perk me up. I probably never would have made it emotionally to 2010 without her. If she ever needs anything, I'll be there to give it to her from now on. Creepy I know, but hey. If you're reading this, Yuzu, I just want you to know that I value your friendship over any possesion I own. Thank you, so very much. heart
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