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*The scene opens up with Will, Andrew, Smith and Carter all sitting at a breakfast bar in the kitchen, with chef cooking 4 meals at once on a stove adjacent from them*
Andrew: FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
Will: FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
Carter: FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
Smith: BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIINSS.
Andrew: Do you even eat brains?
Smith: Not really, I tried one once, y’know to keep the whole zombie stereotype going, and they actually taste quite Sh*#%y.
Will: What was its texture?
Smith: Well it was kinda like pudd-WAIT WHY ARE WE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION.
Will: Hey, I just like to be an informed reader.
Smith: But we’re talking.........
Chef: ALRIGHT MAGGOTS, CHOW TIME.
Carter: FOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-*slap* owwwwww
Chef: Shut it boy, another 5 seconds of that and you get a cleaver down your pants.
*James runs by the kitchen*
James: THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID.
Chef: Okay then, onto the meals, for Andrew one chocolate surprise.
*Chef plops down a bowl of some strange chocolate coloured liquid*
Carter: What’s the surprise?
Chef: Its not made from chocolate.
*The camera shifts to Andrew who can be seen giving a side long glance towards chef, a spoon of the concoction already in his mouth*
Chef: Hehehe, just screwin’ with ya kid, that’s chocolate and only chocolate, now eat up ya freak.
*The camera once again shifts to Andrew who now has his head planted into the bowl, its contents slowly diminishing as he inhales it, literally*
Chef: Now for carter meat on a stick x 10, now don’t try to down this all in one go.
Carter: Don’t worry I won’t......
*the camera is barely able to capture Carter moving at a light speed, opening his mouth, swallowing all of the pieces of meat, wiping his mouth and returning to his normal position*
Chef: so make sure you don’t eat it all a-HOW IN THE HELL, YOU DIDN’T EVEN MOVE.
Carter: So when’s the main course.
Chef: Your a monster you know that, now onto will.
Will: oh, oh, oh, what’cha make me?
Chef: Its my greatest culinary creation yet, a combination of finely shredded steak and Gouda cheese, mixed with caviar, and a hint of a 1973 Belmont wine, all mixed then baked into a Italian styled white bread. If I were to show this meal to a food critique they’d most likely compare it to the Mona Lisa, its a one of a kind.
Will: hmm...........s**t
*Will backhands the meal into a wall, where it makes a satisfying splat on impact*
Will: *turning back to chef* so what did you really make me?
*The camera pans to chef, who’s face has taken on a demonic like quality, he quickly shakes this off and sighs*
Chef: you know what fine *reaches into his apron and pulls out a snickers bar* take it.
Will: NOW THERE’S A MASTERPIECE.
Chef: *sigh* and finally onto the tall scary looking blue guy.
Smith: What the heck are you talking about chef its me, smith.
Chef: Say wah?
*Chef scans smith for a few moments, and then quickly cowers behind a nearby cupboard in fear*
Chef: YOU SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD MAN, DEAD.
Smith: Ya I was, then David brought me back to life.
Chef:..............and that would explain why I wasn’t told, dam fat b@$t@rd, and why the hell are you so bloody tall man, I used to be taller than you.
Smith: Zombie physique.
Chef: that doesn’t make any sense.
Smith: David says its the classic zombie feature, they grow taller a bit, more agile, or at least in my case, there are a few different types of zombie physiques actually.
Chef: what’s yours?
Smith: David didn’t have a name for it, but when I was in town last night I heard some black guy shout ‘TAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNKK’, so I assumed that was the scientific term.
Chef: but god dammit man, being tall was my thing, I’m freaking 7,5, but now you went all zombie and now I have nothing left.
Smith: Ya I’m 9 ft now, pretty neat huh.
Chef: *grumble* whatever just take your damn eggs Benedict.
Smith: heh sweet.
*Later that day in the Rec Room, Rygeor is on the 360, shouting constantly at the TV*
Rygeor: HAHAHAH, TAKE THAT EVIL PONY POACHERS, I’LL NEVER LET YOU CAPTURE THE RAINBOW PONY PRINCESS, she said she’ll take me to the land of fruitcakes and rainbows.........
*Suddenly the ring on the Xbox changes from green to red*
Rygeor: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, now I’ll never get to fly through the skittle sky...
*5 minutes later*
Rygeor: Well time to go play perfect world
*Rygeor walks out the west entrance to the Rex room just as Loyde walks in the east entrance*
*Suddenly the scene changes from the Rec room to David standing in front of a projector screen*
David: sorry ladies and gentlemen, I know you wanna see the idiots kill off their brain cells, but since there have been so many behind the scene changes to the Rec room, I thought I would inform you of what has gone on there.
*a projector turns on showing a simple square room*
David: This is what the original Rec room looked like.
*On the projector, viewers can see Ryeor fall through the ceiling, look around, and then fall down another floor*
David: After the ‘faulty ceiling’ incident the Rec room was totalled and in desperate need of repair, unfortunately at that time I was not on staff as the mechanic, and so out of the white pure goodness in Andrew’s heart he repaired it.
*The slide shows Andrew trying to get Chris to pay him in chocolate milk*
David: and though the repairs were good, they couldn’t withstand certain things to come.
*The slide shows the plain square room again, this time Rygeor runs in the room followed by a nuke, he can be seen slamming against a wall, then pulling out his axe and going Leroy Jenkins on the nuke, the after image shows a completely devastated room with Rygeor plastered against a wall*
David: Now this is the point where I came in, here me and Andrew completely renovated the room, making it much more accessible and, escapable, and this being created by 2 new entrances, one to the west wing and one to the right.
*The slide shows Rygeor run in look around, and then scream as will comes in wielding what appears to be a giant shuriken, Rygeor dodges an attack and the runs out the room in another direction, hands flung up behind him*
David: and that the history of that lovely room, you sad sad people.
*the scene returns to Loyde walking in the room*
Loyde: Gonna play some Xbox, doot, doot, doo, gonna play gears 2 doope doo doop.
*Loyde sits down, grabs the controller, turns on the Xbox and watches as it red rings*
Loyde:.........
*10 minutes later*
Loyde:.......NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*he drops to his knees throws his hands up in the air and cries to the heavens, 5 seconds later Andrew runs in does a barrel roll and crashes into a wall*
Andrew: *from his lopsided position* WHAT’S WRONG!
*At this point in time, Loyde has been reduced to a blubbering idiot, who has managed to curl himself up into the fetal position and suck his thumb*
Loyde: Xbox..........Red...............again......................Chestnut................
Andrew: Your Xbox read a chestnut again, can’t help you there then.
Loyde: No my Xbox red ringed, and when I dropped to the floor to cry out I hit a chestnut with my knee.
Andrew: *gasp* a chestnut you say that can only be the work of *Andrew looks out a window* MR. FURRYFUTTERS!
*Outside a brown squirrel is sitting on a tree branch rubbing its hands together menacingly*
Andrew: Well anyways, I can fix that no problem.
Loyde: My Xbox or my knee?
Andrew: The Xbox, the pain from your knee pleases me.
Loyde: Damn sadist.
Andrew: don’t knock it till you try it.
*5 minutes later in Andrew’s room*
Andrew: Ve vill now begin ze operation.
Loyde: lose the accent Hitler, this is serious.
Andrew: Fine, floss
Loyde: Floss
*Loyde passes Andrew the floss, which he tears a piece off of and pics his teeth with*
Andrew: Tooth Brush
Loyde: Tooth Brush
*Loyde passes Andrew a tooth brush which he uses to brush his teeth with*
Andrew: Choco milk
Loyde: Chocolate milk.
*Andrew begins to sip the milk*
Loyde: WHAT THE HELL MAN, HOW IS THIS FIXING MY XBOX.
Andrew: Xbox, I thought you wanted to help me with my oral hygiene.
Loyde: NOO I DO- wait how does chocolate milk help hygiene?
Andrew: It doesn’t
Loyde: Oh.......
Andrew: And you Xbox is over there, I already fixed it.
*Loyde turns around to see his Xbox propped up on a pedestal, with a golden light shining down on it*
Loyde: Its so beautiful.........
Andrew: Now I’d be careful, the reason you Xbox red ringed was because it had been overpowered by gayness, so to repair it I had to perform some satanic rituals to save it
Loyde: Uh huh
Andrew: That means you can’t get any blood on it
Loyde: s**t.......
Andrew: What?
Loyde: I have a cut on my hand.......
Andrew: Soo.....oh I see
*The camera shows Loyde hugging his Xbox*
Loyde: Should I run?
Andrew: I’d suggest it........
*Outside Andrew’s room*
Carter: It’s quiet
Will: Yes too quite...........should I go blow something up?
Carter: New that’s Andrew’s job
Will: Murder something?
Carter: Jill’s job
Will: Murder you?
Carter: New man that- WAIT WHY WOULD YOU WANNA DO THAT ARN’T WE COOL?
Will: we are but you have broken my sacred rule.......
Carter: which is?
Will: YOU ATTEMPTED TO TAKE THE LIFE OF A SNICKERS BEFORE ME!!!
Carter: When did I?
Will: YESTERDAY.
*they both look up into the air, stroking their chins knowingly, as the scene shifts to a flashback*
*yesterday at 3:29*
*Carter walks up to will, and holds out a snickers *
Carter: hey will want a snickers bar?
*Will spins around and faces carter*
Will: YOU b*****d
*Will jumps in the air as a hidden blade pops out of his sleeve, the flashback then freezes*
*Now back to your regularly scheduled MadHouse*
Carter: DUDE YOU TRIED TO STAB ME IN THE FACE!!!
Will: but clearly I failed
Carter: Ya that’s because you hit smith instead, but he didn’t feel it because he’s already dead.
*Suddenly the doors to Andrew’s room are flung open as Loyde goes flying down the hallway crashing into Carter*
Will: okay this makes us even
Carter: WHAT THE HELL LOYDE!
*Loyde gets up and quickly looks back in Andrew’s room, then begins to run down the hallway*
Loyde: RUN FOR YOU LIVES, ITS TASTED BLOOD
Carter: wait-
Will:-what?
*they both turn to Andrew’s room to see a beast of pure evil crawling towards them, Loyde’s Xbox has grown a number of metallic spiderlike appendages which it is now using to propel itself towards the two numbsk- I mean contestants standing in the hall*
Will: WHO’S NARRATING THIS, I’LL KILL THEM!!
Carter: Save that for later, now we got to run!!!!!!
*The two bolt down the hallway as Rygeor walks past them*
Rygeor: wonder what’s bothering them?
*He turns to come face to face with the demonic Xbox*
Rygeor: Ah.......
*Suddenly the Xbox grows another appendage, one that resembles a white glove and uses it to b***h slap Rygeor, it then continues its rampage down the hall*
Rygeor: OWWWWW
*Andrew walks up behind him*
Andrew: hmm interesting, it didn’t drain you of all your blood......
Rygeor: well it sure came close with the slap......hey why didn’t it kill you?
Andrew: Oh simple, due to the large quantities of chocolate milk I drink my bloodstream is 55% chocolate milk, making me immune to those who would originally hunt for peoples blood.
Rygeor: is that really a good thing.
Andrew: No.......but if I get cut I don’t have to buy chocolate milk for a while.
Rygeor: speaking of chocolate milk, here’s what I could get off of chef for you/
*Rygeor hands Andrew a carton of milk*
Andrew: Chocolate......milk.........
Rygeor: Oh god....
*Down in the red room*
Loyde: Well that was awkward AHHAHAHAHAHA
Carter: I know right it didn’t even want to kill us AHHAHAHAHAHA
Will: It just wanted to get down here so we could play games on it AHHAHAHAHAHA
???: Ya and no more of that gay S*#t its bayonetta or blood AHHAHAHAHAHA
*The entire room goes silent, then all three guys look down at the Xbox, or now up in its case as it has taken on a humanoid form, all three of them instantly barrel roll over the couch and enter fetal positions*
Loyde: It’s just a dream....... AHHAHAHAHAHA
Carter: Ya a bad dream....... AHHAHAHAHAHA
Will: When we stand up it’ll be gone....... AHHAHAHAHAHA
???: So what are we talking about guys?
*They all look to their left to see the 360 bot sitting beside them*
???: Nice to finally be able to talk to you guys, I’m X360.
Will: Uh carter the Xbox is talking to you.
Carter: Uh Loyde your Xbox is talking to you.
Loyde: uh guys I think Alfred’s talking to me?
X360: Ah Alfred is it, I will immediately change my name to Alfred for you master.
Loyde: Wait weren’t you trying to disembowel me before?
Alfred: Oh no, if was trying to give you a hug.
Loyde: You were a freaking spiky mechanical spider.
Alfred: I realised this and that is why I analysed your human dna structure and changed my body into a more humanoid form.
Will: hey guy’s he isn’t kidding, he’s even got junk.
*At that exact moment Alexandra ran into the room*
Alexandra: HEY GUYS YOU GOTTA COME SEE THI- OH SWEET JESUS THERE’S A NAKED METAL GUY IN THE REC ROOM.
*Alexandra runs out of the room screaming how her poor innocent eyes have been tarnished*
Loyde: uh.......Alfred how about putting on some clothing.
Alfred: I will look into the matter sir.
Loyde: uh now please before Jill comes in and kills us all.
Alfred: excellent recommendation sir, I will immediately apply clothing.
*suddenly a tuxedo appears on alfreds body*
Carter: THE HELL
Will: Nifty, he can insta-change
Loyde: Wassat?
Will: Well insta-changing is a technique used by ninjas and assassins to instantly change their clothing so that their targets or enemies won’t recognize them.
Loyde: Neat, but why a tux?
Alfred: isn’t that what all the awesome guys with super powers wear?
Carter: Hey Loyde, your Xbox has an ego.
*Suddenly at that moment Rygeor ran into the rec room, then ran out one of the other doors screaming*
Rygeor: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES ITS TASTED CHOCOLATE MILK!!!!!
Loyde: Alfred have you had any chocolate milk to drink today?
Alfred: No sir, why?
Loyde: cause i think we’re about to find out what it is.
*they all stare forward to see Andrew walk into the room, the only difference being that he is in gear release mode, and his eyes have a dangerous look about them*
Andrew: do.....any......of......you.......have.......chocolate........milk.......
Carter: uh
Loyde: no we don’t
*suddenly Andrew appears directly infront of Loyde*
Andrew: i said, DO ANY OF YOU HAVE CHOCOLATE MILK!!!!!
*Andrew winds up to punch Loyde*
Alfred: MASTER LOOK OUT!
*As Andrew’s fist is about to connect with Loyde’s face, he’s sent flying by a punch from Alfred*
Loyde: Oh....Dam......I thought i was gonna die there.
Alfred: He seems to carry hostility towards you should i proceed to offensive formation 1?
Loyde: The hell is that?
*CRACK*
*They look over to see Andrew picking himself up out of the rubble, the steam emanating from his body at an increasing rate*
Loyde: OH s**t, ok do it whatever it is.
Alfred: initiate offensive formation 1?
Loyde: yes just do it, initiate the formation!
*As those words leave Loyde’s mouth, Alfred bubble down into a pile of metallic goo, slips underneath Loyde, and rises up around him in a metallic column*
Andrew: GIMME MY CHOCO MILK
*Andrew rushes the column, and is about to kick it when a metallic hand reaches out and stops the kick in mid-air*
*this entire while Carter and Will are sitting at the side lines, eating popcorn*
Carter: 5 bucks says Loyde wins.
Will: DEAL, my man Andrew never loses.
Mr.C: put me down for 10 on Andrew
*Both will and carter look to their right to see Mr. C crouching down beside them watching the fight intently*
Carter: WHERE THE HELL DID YOU COME FROM?
Will: Want some popcorn?
Mr.C: I’ve been under the couch the entire time.
Carter: WHY WERE YOU DOWN THERE!!!
Will: Want some pop?
Mr.C: My commentator instinct told me something big was going down today.
Carter: THAT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE!!!
Will: Chips anyone?
Mr.C: No quiet down, one of the biggest fights yet is about to commence!
*Suddenly Mr. C turns to an imaginary audience, and strikes an epic pose*
Mr.C: SO STAY TUNED FOLKS CAUSE YOU DO NOT WANT TO MISS THIS MADHOUSE MOMENT.
Carter: uh dude *pointing with will at the camera in the other direction* the camera’s over there.
Mr.C: *sweatdrop* WHATEVER JUST WATCH THE FIGHT.
Carter: oh we have been, they’ve both been standing there watching us.
Andrew: Do you have chocolate milk?
Loyde: NO ONE DOES YOU IDIOT!!
*Loyde grabs Andrew’s foot with both hands and sends him flying into a nearby wall*
*When the dust settles the audience can see the ‘offensive formation 1’, it appears to be a simple metallic exo suit that completely surrounds Loyde’s entire body, on the right side of his chest the word X-Osuit is clearly visible*
Loyde: Ok so how do i work this thing.
*from within the suit*
Alfred: It is quite a simple set up, the entire suit is controlled by electrical impulses of the neurons in the cerebral cortex, but unfortunately you can only do as much as the metal in the suit will allow, so no super sized hammers or things like that.
Will: wait, so its basically powered by imagination?
*from within the suit*
Alfred: yes
*In the background Carter and Mr.C are both standing there nodding knowingly, while in the foreground Will’s eyes are shimmering*
Will: COOL I WANNA TRY!
Loyde: Later, right now i’m gonna take this baby for a ride.
Andrew: bombs away
*Loyde looks up to see Andrew droping down from the ceiling, preparing to Axe kick Loyde into the ground*
Loyde: Let’s see if this thing will do the trick *Loyde thrusts his hands in the air* SHEILD.
*from the palms of his hands a giant shield forms, with a majestic coat of arms on it*
Carter: was that really necessary?
Loyde: Personal touch.
*Andrew lands the kick in the center of the shield, then rebounds off of it landing and clinging to a nearby wall*
Andrew: grrrrrrr.
Loyde: Well that surprisingly worked, but now he looks like he’s pissed, Alfred track his movements and throw them up on the display screen.
Alfred: already in the process sir
*Suddenly andrew begins to to move around the room at high speeds, creating multiple copies of himself in the process*
Will: *gasp* which one is the real one?
Carter: I dunno but if Loyde dies to andrew, i’m gonna kill him myself.
Loyde: Which direction is he gonna come from Alfred?
Alfred: my mental analysis and diagnostics of him suggest that he will attack from a northward position.
*In the background Carter and Mr.C are nodding their heads vigourously while in the foreground will is trying to act all smart*
Will: So basically thats from the front.
Loyde: Ok then, i’m gonna end this with everything you got Alfred
Alfred: It’ll be my pleasure sir.
* The copies of andrew all disappear as he reappears directly in front of Loyde, preparing to beat him into the floor*
Loyde: *while punching out at andrew* TOTEM CRUSHER!!
*all the metal on Loyde’s body instantly travels to his right arm, forming a massive totem like fist, which is directed straight towards Andrew*
*The two superpowers collide, creating a massive explosion on impact, sending Andrew flying into a wall, and Alfred to splatter all over the interior of the Rec Room*
*After the smoke clears the viewers can see Andrew sitting up against the wall rubbing his head, while Loyde is standing there, with Alfred reassembling himself beside Loyde*
Carter: SWEET I WIN.
Will: NU UH, that was so andrew’s win, he sent Alfred all over the place.
Loyde: Alfred, give me one final statistic, how much power did Andrew use in that attack?
Alfred: If my calculation are correct, and they always are, about 10%
Mr.C: boys, i believe no one wins this bet, its a tie.
Jill: actually i win, i bet 50 bucks that it would tie out.
*The three gamblers look up to see Jill standing beside them*
Will: Ho-
Carter:-Ly
Mr.C: s**t
*The three of them run from the room as Jill chases after them, yelling at them to pay up*
Loyde: crap, it really was only 10%
Alfred: yes sir, i’m sure of it
Loyde: dam.........whatever, i’m bored, lets go play some xbox.
Alfred: right away sir.
*The two walk off leaving Andrew still rubbing his head*
Andrew: Guh where am i, all i remember is drinking that milk and then i blacked out.
*David walks into the room, and then drops to his knees after noticing the wanton destruction*
David: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHO DID THIS!!
*He spots Andrew*
David: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUU
*David runs at Andrew*
Andrew: no, no, no, no, NO, NO!
*BOOM*
*down in the main lobby, the entire crew is sitting in the common area, listening to Chris, now including Alfred, as well as a heavily beaten Andrew*
Chris: Well as you guys may know its Christmas in 2 days, now i know your all excited about this-
*Will jumps up and then begins randomly appearing around the room in strange positions yelling Christmas each time (BE IMAGINATIVE)*
Chris: Ok ignoring that retard, unfortunately for you guys, your are evil as hell, and as of such, SANTA AIN’T COMING MUHAHAHAHA.
Smith: Definetly your fault for that.
Chris: who the hell are- OH DAM ITS, SMITH, CHEF ITS SMITH HE’S ALIVE.
Chef: I’ve known that since this morning, get with the times.
Chris: I.....but......dead.....heart.....grr...ANDREW!
David: Actually i brought him back to life this time.
Chris: Ah then that makes it all better
David: Really?
Chris: NOOO!
Smith: And that would be why santa ain’t comin’
Chris: Oh shut it, hey where did Andrew and Will go?
Loyde: They said something about going to catch santa, what are they doing now Alfred?
Alfred: currently they are aiming a Surface to Air missile at Santa’s sleigh with the hope that it will bring him here.
Carter: oh lovely, they’re going to murder santa........HOLY s**t THEIR GONNA KILL THE b*****d.
Greg: TO THE ROOF!!!!!
*Everyone makes a mad dash for the roof using their own methods, Greg uses his bats to fly up to the roof, Carter runs up the nearest stair case alongside Chef, Chris, Alexandra, and Smith, Loyde has Alfred transform into a jet pack, Jill climbs up the side of the house, Mr.C uses the C copter, and James and David take the elevator, they all make it at the exact same time*
Everyone: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*Andrew and Will look around them just as they fire off a missile with the name, ‘the jollymaker’ written on it*
Andrew: oh hey guys, come to greet santa clause?
Loyde: YOU IDIOTS THATS GOING TO KILL HIM.
Andrew: hmm really that wasn’t in the plan, see here.
*Andrew points to a crudly drawn diagram pissed into the snow on the roof*
Carter: WE GOTTA STOP THAT MISSILE.
*BOOM*
*the entire group looks over to see the missile making contact with the Jolly man’s sleigh sending him flying towards the MadHouse*
Will: *acting completely ignorant* don’t worry guys the house will break his fall *gets hit on the head by Smith*
Andrew: don’t worry he’ll fly on the wongs of Christmas cheer *gets hit in the head by david*
Alexandra: WHO’S GOING TO SAVE HIM.
*Suddenly Bobobo appears on the rooftop*
Bobobo: I’ll do it!
Jill: Who the hell are you
Bobobo: A friend, now i need a volunteer.
*suddenly don patch appears beside Bobobo*
Don Patch: I’ll do it.
Bobobo: oh ok then *kicks don patch off the roof* YOU JUST VOLUNTEERED TO DIE!!!
Greg: I’ll do it......
Bobobo: good boy, now pick a card any card.
*Bobobo hold out a single card that has multiple neon arrows surrounding and pointing to it*
Alexandra: *sweatdrop* that’s not much of a choice.....
Greg: Ok then I pick that one.
Bobobo: excellent choice boy you just chose the crash mat of safteyness.
Alexandra: *sweatdrop* is that even a word?
Bobobo: the spell-check seems to think so, ACTIVATE MAGIC CARD.
*Suddenly a large matt appears where Santa in destined to crash*
Alexandra: Oh thank god he’s gonna be alright.
*santa’s sleigh hits the mat which explode on impact*
Everyone: OH DEAR SWEET JESUS, SANTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Bobobo: Whoops that was the crash mat of unsafteyness
???: OH HOHOHO, MEEEERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE
*Everyone looks up to see santa slowly gliding down to and eventually landing on the roof*
Alexandra: OH HE’S OKAY I’M SOOOOO HAPPY!
David: But how did you survive?
Santa: simple my boy, i used this house to break my fall and floated down upon wings of Christmas cheer.
*The camera shifts to Andrew and Will who are standing on the edge of the roof, in their underwear, striking heroic poses*
Santa: But ohohoho dear, i won’t be able to deliver presents with my sleigh in that condition.
*The group turns to the scene of carnage below, with the sleigh blazing and carcasses of reindeer surrounding it, they then look to will and Andrew who are now but naked striking heroic poses*
Loyde: You guys are retards.
*Andrew appears beside david, leaning on his shoulder, twirling a monkey wrench in his hand*
Andrew: Don’t worry sandi claws, with david tending to the reindeer and me on your sleigh we’ll have it done in a jiffy.
Santa:......its Santa clause.......
*1.7 nanoseconds later*
Andrew and David: done!
Santa: how in the world?
Andrew: We’re good with our hands.
Santa: You boys have done a great deed today, in fact for this your all off the naughty list-
Everyone: WOO HOO!
Santa:-except for you Chris.
Chris: GOD DAMMIT
Santa: see, its those things Chris, those things, well i best be going *suddenly Santa teleports from the roof to the sleigh* merry Christmas everyone, and to all a good night.
Andrew: no Santa i made some modifications so you may wann-
Santa: what does this button DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
Andrew: -read the manual first, well that’s that i guess.
*They all return to the lobby*
Alexandra: HEY GUYS LOOK!
*All the chairs in the lobby have been pushed back to make way for a massive tree with oodles of presents under it*
Andrew: PRESENTS!
*Andrew and Will dive bomb into the massive pile, laughing as they go*
Chris: well i don’t get to say this often guys but, merry Christmas.
*from the pile*
Andrew: hey Chris, all you got was a lump of coal
Chris: GOD ******** DAM-
*TRANSMISSION TERMINATED*

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE, AND TO ALL A GOOD HOLIDAY, SEE YOU IN THE NEW YEAR