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ive played it out in my mind how things would go if i woke up and this was just a dream:

"id wake up in the afternoon like normal and i get out of bed like normal take a nice hot shower like normal then the phone would ring and it would be him and he would ask to hang out and id go and see him happy as hell thinking its just an average day like normal then id see him and he would kiss me and he would hold my hand first and he will tell me he loves me and that hes happy to have me as
his gf and then ill say "ur girlfriend?" and he would laugh and say yes and think there was something bothering me and id laugh it off and say "oh i had a bad dream last night and it was the worst thing ever it felt so real,u stopped loving me,everyone did and i was so alone and it was horrible"and he would be there to comfort me he would laugh and say "well tht sounds horrible im glad thts not how it is i wouldnt want to see me without u"

But i know for a fact

i wont wake up in the afternoon ill wake up in the morning and the water will be cold not hot and he wont call me to hang out and he wont kiss me he wont hold my hand he wont tell me he loves me he wont be happy to be mine i wont laugh it off and think i had a really bad dream....

cause its not a dream....its wat im stuck with...my life

and i hate it