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Love and Misunderstanding |
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Love? What the hell is that?... Why is it soo important? Why do we need it to live? Why have it? They say love is the most wonderful thing that there is... ha, oh yeah? then why does it hurt so ******** much. So far the guys ive liked are nothing but low life idiots who look pretty but deep inside theyre as bad as moldy expired cheese. I get mad, angry, irritated because just when i thought that the guy i like is alright he ends up being a no good turn off x.x ... We eventually become friends but they dont know how i felt, even i dont know how i felt!! and now i feel devasted like a freakin pansy who now's going to cry over spillled milk!! Yes you read it, spilled milk x.x; then i end up getting over them the next day or two as if nothing happened. Yet secretly, i still like them in a small childish fantasy way. I secretly wish that they were never like that, i secretly wish for them to change, i secretly wish that i could do something to help them become a better person , but nothing works, nothing!! i'm just a little girl who looks cute being funny and stupid and nice -___-; ... Thing is, i'm not good at looking serious or acting serious. So i end up making a joke or annoying fuss about a problem when i'm trying to be serious. I can never be serious and that is why no ordinary guy can be with me because i am like no other. I'm different and too softy -_-;; No one thinks that i'm ready for the real world, real love. Yeah, it may be true, but i guess i wont argue with them. Thats the reason. I'm not ready for real love, commitment, or seriousness. They all just cant compute. I aspire many feelings for many many things and i look at this so call world with amazement, with pride. I meet people and i dont get bad impressions from them, i see good!! but i only see good in my little fantasy world as i unleash the real me and what she sees is nothing but assholes and ********. I feel bipolar most of the time. I feel like i dont have one person inside but that i have 2. One who's perspective is childish, fun and nice and the other who's filled with horror, anger, and total disgust. No i'm not turining crazy and no i'm not turning into a pyscho. Its just how it feels and even though probably none of you has seen this creature ( the angry one) out before its because ive never went crazy-psycho at school before... *smirks* god i feel like an idiot fo saying all that s**t xDDD oh wells... xp Today i feel like total crap. Sleepy and i have to I have to go clean my room... Right now i'll take a nap to get my mind off everything and then i'll start cleaning my room. *sigh* if only i can find my Jake xDD ( Quote- Two friends of mine came over and we were playing barbies, shut up!, and we picked out our guys for our barbie characters and mines happend to be this cute boy named jake ( named him myself xD). My two friends were the ones who helped me out with his personality. He's everything i want!! Nice eyes, nice hair, tall, stupid, and funny!! xD there's more to it too =D) Gosh i feel stupid lol
 Creamery · Sat Jan 28, 2006 @ 04:13am · 1 Comments |
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