ive just finished reading this book and i love it
the main plot of the story is the girl named Ruth who lives with her mom,dad,and brother Caleb.
basically they all r verbally abused by their father/husband(counting as the mother point of view)
ans so Caleb and their father r always argueing about little things that start these rampages of their father.
Ruth stays quiet most of the time wen yelled at but after awhile once her mom is rlly affected by it where she tries to kill herself with a pill overdose,Ruth starts to cut.
which leads to more problems as the skool year leads into summer time and she's wearing long sleeves which is abnormal.
but the reason i bring up this book is mainly becuz she seems to have sumthings in common with me from wen i used to cut(and since ive gotten over it and am much better im comfortable with talking about it now)
so like she started cutting becuz of sum family issuses at home which was sorta some of my reasoning too
cuz my dad was always yeling and cussing about how we cant take care of nothing and we cant do s**t right around the house and so on and so forth,now only a few times i cut myself, but it got more serious wen a former friend of mine summer came over unannounced and wen mama got home since daddy was already there he yelled at her about wat ii "supposedly" did(cuz i did tell summer not to come over but she didnt listen to mi)
and then mama called mi intothe kitchen and said that for once she'd like ti come home and not get elled at almost sounding as if she was gonna cry,and i kne she was wen she sorta ran off the her room slamming the door behind her
and i stood there thinking to myself "it was my fault she got yelled at, i made my own damn mother cry wat kinda daughter am i?"
and there was a time before that i was sent to lakeside that was an occurance sumtime wen i was released but i got help from my friends on that.
but anyway how i rlly started was my dad was always yelling about our flaws around the house,and i drew a suicidal pic in 5th grade of mi with a gun to my head that my teacher did see she just never told my parents.(which got her a** cussed out by my dad later on)
she hasnt said a word to mi since
and my lil brother who is bipolar(who was about 8 or 9 at the time i was doing this)
was always picked on by another friend of mine named rayanna, who wuld get pissed at him just cuz he was annoying sumtimes(and again it isnt his fault he has bipolar and ADHA and i also have ADHA minus the bipolar though)
and he wuld feel lik every1 hates him and try to suffcate himself or kill himself and it rlly upseted mi that i wuld sit there and watch and cry not looking away as my punishment for not saying anything as it was happening and other times i culdnt stand it and id stop him from even tryign but if i an remember correctly i can remember rayanna laughing as this happened
there was one time he got angry enouigh he had founf knives in the backyard(which is pretty big i dot exactly kno how to explain it)
and threw them at us but thankfully he missed cuz we ducked outta the way
and this has affected mi since,plus i had heard that wen i was six and he was 4 he choked mi in the closet for a crayon but afterwards he was sorry and was crying this i didnt rlly remeber but so much was told this(which is becuz of his bipolar for those who havent caught on yet)
but anyway as of right now i cantthink of anything to add but i will update a new jounal entry later on wen i dothink of sumthin ^^
hope u enjoy readin about my very wierd but interesting life ^^;
comment if u want
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XXXEmo_KatrinXXX
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