I attach myself to people. Not just those in need, but those I feel that I can get to know. Nice people. And sometimes I second-guess myself. “Am I being stalkerish? Should I back off?” But this raises a problem. How do I connect? Can I just go “Can we be friends?” Being open about things is so confusing. I take in all information, but because of it I get mixed signals. Maybe I should just roll with it and walk over every once in a while. Maybe I should wait for people to come to me. If they’re nice to me, maybe I should stick around more, or maybe I should just talk on occasion. It’s so frustrating. On paper and through typing things are so straightforward. And when they seem like nice people with a seeming grudge against me that I can’t understand. Society can be so confusing. I feel like an outsider. But at the same time, I am inside. I am a bubble, a shell with a me inside. I need someone I can send these things to. But the only person I could is far away, and now I’m second-guessing myself with her too. I don’t know what to do. I’m, to truthfully put it, scared. Scared and trapped in an unfamiliar system.
 Val Ritz · Mon Nov 23, 2009 @ 04:31am · 0 Comments |
