1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing Football; see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him I need some tampons!!"
6. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.
7. Try on bras over top of your clothes.
8. Make a trail of tomato juice on the ground, leading to the girls restrooms
9. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible sex and candy"
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, I think we've got a Code 3 in House wares," and see what happens.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to 10.
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, Who BUYS this s**t, anyway?"
15. Repeat #14 in the jewelry department.
16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.
17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, Wow. Magic!"
20. Put M&M's on layaway.
21. Move Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
24. Nonchalantly test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell hello" upside down.
29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, why won't you people just leave me alone?"
30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, Red Rover!"
31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
33. Take bets on the battle described above.
34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)
35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission: Impossible."
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.
41. Set up a Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: Marco Polo."
43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc.
44. Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
45. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" with various funnels.
46. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them
47. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying how could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.
48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, No, no! It's those voices again!"
49. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
51. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying Good girl, good Bessie."
52. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.
53. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
54. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
55. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
56. hide in clothing racks and when someone look in pop out and say do you mind
57. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch" from the other aisles.
58. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle)."
59. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
60. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
61. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.
62. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
63. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
64. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
65. Say things like, Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
66. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., Do you have any Shnerples here?"
67. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a test drive."
68. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they don't realize it.
70. Get an empty book, and say it's a guest book. Get people to sign.
71. Play a game of indoor freeze tag
72. Drive around the entrances screaming out the window the British are coming"
73. Have a team race with your friends- one person sits in the cart, the other pushes
74. Go to the checkout and buy a bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices
75. Fill your cart up as much as possible, and then try to use the express lane
76. Use a bullhorn and occasionally say that there is free candy in aisle X (aisle X being the condom aisle)
77. Run into a pyramid of cans, heroically saying I'm gonna save us from that bomb!"
78. Use a conveyer belt as a treadmill and lose some weight
79. Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over.
80. When people aren't looking, put tampons in their carts if they are a guy, or if they are a gal, put in a jock strap.
81. Randomly direct people to the deodorant section
82. Tell someone that you will sue for false advertising, since they do not sell walls.
83. Take your boyfriend or girlfriend to the food section and have an expensive dinner.
84. Try to push your cart through a checkout without paying. When the clerk tries to stop you, kick in his balls (don’t try it on a chick, it wont work), run, but leave the cart. See what happens.
85. If people aren’t looking at their cart, steal it.
86. Go to the gun section, saying Can I buy a gun? I'm tired of that stupid smiley face!"
87. Buy expensive stuff, go home and use white-out and a pen to change the price to something much lower, and the total much higher, then return and demand a refund.
88. See how much stuff you can break before you get caught
89. Take a leak in the dressing rooms.
90. Repeadeately say "The clowns are not eating me."
91. Use fake checks, but sign them using your neighbor’s name.
92. Rearrange items as you see fit.
93. Take a full set of guy's clothes and a full set of gal's clothes, then leave them lying somewhere.
94. Put pokemon stuff in a cart that is full of stuff like KoRn and Limp Bizkit CDs
95. Grab condoms and stick them in everyone's face (only the opposite sex)
96. Do #95 but with the same sex (not recommended)
97. Grab stickers that say radioactive" and put them randomly on food items.
98. Follow someone until they notice
99. Pull out pins, like that guy form the 7up commercial
100. Loiter. When asked to leave, tell them you live here.
101. Record yourself while having sex, then have it play over and over gain in the middle of a clothes rack.
102. Re-enact a fatal incident involving the automatic doors.
103. When you leave the store, try your car keys in the door of every car in the car park until you get to your own. Then drive off as if this is perfectly normal. (Note- if you don't actually own a car and walked to the store, attempt the above by substituting car keys with your house keys).
104. Ask if you can test some super-glue before buying it, then walk around the store gluing random items to other items/customers/staff. For added fun: See how many cashiers you can glue to each-other before any of them notice.
105. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say "BEEP" in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customer’s items. If the cashier protests, kill them.
106. Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and
when they say you didn't buy it there say "The customer is always right dammit!!" Make a scene.
107. Climb things.
108. walk around wearing the cloths from the store
109. Look at customers and look away when they look back (repeat)
110. Make Loud noises in the bathroom.
111. Pat guys on the back when using bathroom stall.
112. Play the stereos real loud and dance wildly.
113. Hog up the Xbox or PS2 demo games
114. Flip off the camera
115. get 220 items make the cashier ring them all up, then say you know what I will just take a pack of gum, say to return everything else
116. Put the items back in wrong spots
117. Walk past people and make bodily noises.
118. Format the hard drives on the computers
119. Stand in front of the Wal-Mart greeter and say "Welcome to Wal-Mart" before the greeter can.
120. Have a long conversation with the greeter so that he/she cannot greet customers entering the store or give them a shopping cart.
121. Go to the auto department and get a few jugs of antifreeze, put them in the freezers in the grocery department.
122. Roll a tire down the aisle and chase after it.
123. Go to the electronics department and put on a show for the video cameras.
124. Joust with the rascals (the little motorized wheelchairs at the entrance)
125. Act autistic by yelling "baseball" in a slightly retarded voice
126. Pillow fights with stuffed animals
127. Talk to the clerk in the electronics dept, and every 5 minutes or so yell "No! You are Wrong!"
128. Clip clothing to customers w/out their knowledge, clip-on ties work great
129. Clip a clip on tie to yourself on your back and walk in and out of the store a bunch of times and see if anyone notices
130. Men: Take women’s clothing and go to the changing rooms
131. Take embarrassing items (massive amounts of duesche in men’s carts works really well, or self enema kits, I do this at work all the time) and hide them in random people's carts
132. Get a blue or red vest from a friend who works at Wal-Mart and walk around helping customers and moving things and talking to other employees.
133. Put on a baseball helmet backwards, a hunting vest, a big stuffed bear under one arm and a pool cue. Tiptoe in and out of isles and yell "BANG" while pointing the pool cue at customers and employees, then jump into an isle where they can't see you.
134. Commando crawl through isles doing the same thing, but roll off into other isles and crawl away as fast as possible. This got me kicked out in under 10 minutes (my personal record). We got away with it that long because my friend explained to one employee that I was "slow" in the head and that I was simply expressing myself.
135. Play Hide and Go seek
136. While playing move stuff out of the shelves and get on the shelf, and put the merchandise in front of you and hide. ! also makes it interesting when people grab for a box and miss
137. Follow a random person around the store, buying the same things they buy
138. Go in without pants... ask an employee where they sell pants.
139. Do your shopping from other peoples carts
140. Go into fitting room and announce loudly "there's no toilet paper in here!"
141. Set up camp in sporting goods using their display items
142. Ask how much for the Big W out front.
143. Ask customer service where the nearest K-mart is
144. Ask if "hanging sex chair swings" are in furniture, sporting goods or toys
145. Remove all pricing stickers from all items before checking out
146. Grab the toys that make noise, turn them on, and hide them all around the store
147. Dress exactly like the manager and walk around the store abusing people.
148. Post 'Found Person' flyers in their 'Missing Persons' billboard.
149. Announce a Blue Light Special on the Wal-Mart P.A.
150. drop adult diapers into people’s carts
151. Try to return things with another stores brand name to Wal-Mart
152. Padlock all the carts together
153. Go in wearing a towel and ask for soap
154. Ask to see a selection of their most popular walls.
155. Ask if they have co-ed changing rooms
156. Test out the Riding Mowers.
157. Test out a Ladder. Use it to change some light bulbs
158. hook up voice changer to intercom, and switch between little girl and demonic
159. Act like you've never seen automatic sliding doors.
160. Shake all the soda
161. Make a fort
162. have deep, lengthy conversations...with a mannequin
163. Place Milk back behind the bleach.
164. Dodge ball with the big bouncy balls
165. Drop panties and jars of Vaseline into men's shopping carts
166. Beat a little kid at Nintendo. Make him cry.
167. Buy a bikini for the cute girl at the register
168. Follow random people around and spray everything they touch with Lysol
169. Scream every time the checkout person scans an item
170. Ask if they have seen Mike Rotch. Have them ask over the PA.
171. *even better if your male* Make out with the big plastic Ronald McDonald
172. Play limbo with the brooms
173. put tampons in Elmo’s hand
174. Ask the employees to recommend & describe personal lubricants
175. Say loudly "my mom will love this" whilst holding sexy lingerie
176. Ask if the condoms come in women’s sizes
177. Go up to a cashier, and ask him/her to page a bogus person. Make up the name.
178. Ask The greeter if sex is allowed in the entertainment section
179. Take the extra buttons from the coats, name them, and talk to them
180. Ask if they have any lingerie with Tinky-Winky on it
181. Take photos of the store and the customers (don’t be afraid to get in there face. Also post pics online)
182. Hold desk clerks hostage in the fish section, then threaten to drown em over PA
183. Dress up as Mario and advertise Super Mario Sunshine
184. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "I CHOOSE YOU PIKACHU!"
185. u can also throw skittles at people and say taste the rainbow.....or take a box
of lucky charms, shoot down the isle screaming "you'll never catch me lucky
charms!"
186. Great pranks! However, you forgot to mention GRANNY PANTIES!!! They are great for every thing! Put them in peoples carts when they weren’t looking, Drop them over fresh fruit and hang them from flowers. Stuff a few pairs in with toys
187. run around the store going 'WEEE-WOOOO, WEEEE-WOOOO, WEEEEEE-WOOOOO'
188. Also, just before the store closes, fall asleep on a couch, and when someone asks you to leave at closing time, tell them you live there.
189. when in the isle that is really full of people suddenly fall on the floor and yell out "IVE BEEN HIT BY FALLING PRICES"
190. Bring Popped popcorn into the store, grab some chairs from wherever, take them to the electronics section and put them in the way of people, sit in them and watch whatever movie they have playing.
191. Go up to couples and go up to the guy (or girl), slap him (or her) and yell,” I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!!ITS OVER!!!"then walk off in a huff
192. Go up to the busiest looking associate and rudely ask them where something is. Just make sure that the something you’re looking for is right next to you
193. One thing to do if you really have an extra twenty or fifty dollar bill is to make it stick to the floor in one of the aisles and every time someone tries to pick it up dive straight for them and scream "It's a trap! It's gonna explode!"
194. Hold a box tightly. if people look at you, clutch the box to your chest and say, "Mine."
195. Go to the checkout line and page yourself. Slip away, then come back 5 minutes later, saying you were paged. Repeat until you're told to leave.
196. Stick price stickers to yourself and lay on the conveyer belt. When asked what you're doing, say, "I got hungry and ate all my food."
197. Move the displays into a maze, then stand at the end and congratulate anybody who makes it out.
198. Walk up to an employee, and say "Can I help you?"
199. Act like a manikin. Then when people walk by, scare them or follow them.
200. Talk with fake bad accents or in a language that you don’t know.
201. Steal something from someone's cart and run off laughing. Be as conspicuous as possible. When they confront you, say "Blast! Foiled again!" and give the item back.
202. Roll around in the aisles
203. Create your own clothing in the Arts and Crafts section
204. Grab a 100 bucks worth of stuff, check out. When asked for money shrug.
205. Paint the store funny colors
206. Blindfolded. Grab as much clothing as possible in 30 seconds. Try on. YAAAAY!!!
207. Rope of an area walk on it and say and say it will collapse if anyone steps on
208. Walk around and worship random items around the store. Make it look convincing.
209. Announce: Wal-Mart clerks don't get paid enough to even shop at Wal-Mart!
210. Sneak up on old people and scream p***s at the top of your lungs then run
211. Shave the Barbies
212. Go to the Pet Dept. and ask if the dead fish are half-price (true story)
213. Grab as many balls you can find and peg them at random kids around the store.
214. Play limbo with the brooms.
215. Hang comforters over a few aisles.
216. After the loudspeaker comes on, shout "Dad, was that you?"
217. Sell the store’s stuff to people
218. Fly a kite attached to a bike
219. Give random people a piggyback ride or vice versa
220. Ask people if they believe in magic
221. Have a paper airplane distance contest
222. Have a picnic with some people
223. Make a house out of card board boxes
224. Have a yard sale
225. Attach a video camera to a remote control car. Spy around
226. Buy a Chia Pet and call it Chia Charlie
227. Get some water guns and ATTACK!!
228. Have a competition with someone to see who is less competitive
229. Start hitting yourself in the head and say, SHUT up all of you - SHUT UP especially you Lawrence
230. Stick blueberries up your nose and see how far you can shoot them
231. Strut like John Wayne
232. Take an invisible dog for a walk
233. Talk only in famous catchphrases from movies
234. Three-legged softball or soccer (players are paired off, then each player has one leg tied to their partner's)
235. Throw around an invisible ball and see if you can get people to join you in a game of catch
236. Try to hypnotize someone
237. Verbally Abuse your patio furniture
238. Voice your opinion where no one can hear you
239. Try to not think about penguins (This is especially hard, because by trying too much, you remember what you were trying to avoid thinking of. If you try too little, you end up thinking about penguins anyway.)
240. Pretend you're a robot
241. Pretend to be a car run people over
242. Make a Conga line see how many people will join
243. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other people, "This is MY personal space!"
244. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other people
245. Swat at flies that don't exist.
246. Call out, "Group Hug!" and then enforce it.
247. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
248. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
249. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".
250. Greet everyone coming in the store with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral
I dare You, The reader, To do one or more of these things during your next trip to Wal-Mart!! Dont forget to take pictures or film it, Then PM it to me!!
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[center:7122b8e9b5][b:7122b8e9b5]god damn i havent used gaia in ages
and i'll probably forget about it again in a week[/b:7122b8e9b5][/center:7122b8e9b5]
and i'll probably forget about it again in a week[/b:7122b8e9b5][/center:7122b8e9b5]