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I act happy for you.
But you could never know how alone I feel.
You could never comprehend it.
I feel as if I am in the shadows.
Like a puppet I obey and pretend to be happy for others.
When I say I am okay or that I feel fine.
I'm lying.
Really I feel as if I am a lifeless shell.
Going through motions while crying on the inside.
I can never show pain.
I can never show weakness.
I was raised like that.
To hold my emotions in.
To bottle up all the sad ones.
I can never speak freely.
No one cares about my opinions.
If I ask a question.
Everyone scowls at me.
If I offer help it's ignored and taken from someone else who offered to help.
I always feel like I should die.
Like there's nothing left for me.
I have almost killed myself.
What choice did I have?
But he came into my life.
Forcing me to stop.
I live in pain just to see his smile.
I suffer day after day until we meet again.
Does he know how much more I suffer now?
Does he know that if he never entered my life i'd be dead?
Does he know that i've woken up crying after dreaming all night about him?
Does he know he kills me?
Does he know how slowly he's killing me instead of me doing it?
Does he know that if I could see him every day i'd die faster?
Does he know how that he pulls me out of my void, my small black hole that i'm accostumed to and that I adore?
That doing so kills me more?
I act happy for you.
But you could never know how alone I feel.

((This is actually true everyone. I usally write how i'm feeling in poem form. But never from the heart like this besides my other two poems that are from the heart. Can you love me?, That song.Hurts me..., Just ask and ask, and a few others there all from the heart.))