I'm so scared I might be
I'm so scared that if I am, my friends wont be there anymore
I'm so scared that I make fun of them
I want to tell someone
But I know if I do
My friends wont be there anymore
Sometimes I want to smash my face against the wall
Just to see how much it hurts
When I sit on the bus
I'm not looking out the window
I'm imagining smashing my face in it
I know it sounds funny
But
I don't know how many times I've cried writing this
I know my Dad said he wouldn't care
I know he'll change if its true
Sometimes I imagine
I lived with my Mom.
Or that I was an only child
Or that my little brother was
Or what My Dad would be like without us.
I'm happy that when I look over those stairs at school
I don't imagine jumping off them and dying anymore
I still wish I was dead
That I never existed.
When I fell down the stairs last year
I wish I died
I still do.
I wish people would just tell me how they feel straight up
So I can stop and leave them alone
I'm tired of acting happy
Theres so much built inside me
I think my Dad ex girlfriend was right
I actually think dropping out
would be so much better
And I'm starting to hate the people
that I looked forward to seeing the most
There are only two things I look forward too:
Talking to my best friend who I only know on the internet
Then going back to sleep.
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A Season of Purple
Full mostly of Roleplay characters and spur of the moment writings.
User Comments: [3]
User Comments: [3]