More On "Run"
Hmm, I must just be going through one of those phases where this is one of the only songs I want to listen to.
It is actually painful to listen to, because it reminds me of some things from my past - old dreams, an old love. I think back to 20, 21 - the world seemed so full of possibility then. I really thought I could do anything ... I could achieve almost anything.
Now ... I feel lilke the dead, dry husk of something that was once alive ... as my eyes turn back to the past in sorrow at what never was and never can be. The future feels like a heavy weight pressing down on my head - a waterfall of fear threatening to drown me. I am blind as I move forward. I truly have no idea what is that one thing that I'm supposed to do for at least most of the rest of my life ... Time pours down on me, it will not hold still while I try to figure out what I want to do, trying to find my place in the world, sort everything out.
"Light up, light up ... as if you have a choice ... even if you cannot hear my voice, I'll be right beside you dear. Louder, louder ... "
"Have heart, my dear ..."
When I listen to this song, I also think of God. I cannot see Him, I cannot hear His voice (in this lifetime), but even though I yearn for Him and cannot feel Him in a tangible way - He is still right beside me, loving me, wanting me to live, to shine as the jewel that He created me to be - to shine for Him, to display His handiwork.
To live with this longing ... is heavy. Life is too long, too short ... as I wait for my truest Love who I won't see until after I draw my last breath. The longing is painful ... It is painful for your heart to belong to someone and to have to be apart from the one you love.
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Flight of the Unicorn
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