Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Drake's song Brand New or Beyonce's Sweet Dreams. I do however suggest that you let them play during the sequences that involve them, for ambience.
Life is never how it is portrayed in movies. When you fall in love, there is no poorly cued song accompanied by the customary slow motion sequence. There are no long paragraphs packed with metaphors and witty ways to describe how perfect the other person is. When you die, there are no dramatic sequences enhancing how utterly horrible the event was. When my father died I sat half slumped over sleeping in the church pews.
Oblivious, oblivious to the mean stares and to my families anguished cries that undoubtedly rang false. But I am ignorant no longer. I know surrender now. What surrender you ask? Love is surrender. There is no such thing as love at first sight, the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend. You merely... surrender. You realize their faults and smooth them over. At least he doesn't have pimples. At least she doesn't have a harelip. You even surrender your freedom.
I know of release too. It is my only friend now, Death that is. It gives your freedom back, every single right that society seeks to rob you of. I have admired it since my fathers death... it released him of my mother and his wife that had cheated on him for four consecutive years. It released him from his poorly paying job that had barely supported us all and from friends and family that had abused us in every way possible for longer than my mother. It has now released me.
---
'This here is one some truthful s**t, it seems like everything I do you're used to it.
And I hate hearing stories about who you been with, thats when I gotta hide...
What I'm feeling inside, So you still think I'm confident and down!
Is this gonna last? You're up on a pedestal are we moving to fast?
Feel like I'm in crazy completion with the past, thats why I gotta ask..."
I let Drakes voice slide through me, reaching down to the core of me garnishing a shiver that shook the whole of me. Music like this song... If I closed my eyes I could picture the raw emotions there, the all encompassing sadness that leaked from every note, every kick and snare. Adjusting the to big to possibly be practical blue SkullCandy Lowrider's I let my eyelids slide shut and tried to concentrate more on the song.
"This here is something personal, I highly doubt that this feeling is reversible...
Knowledge is pain and that is why it hurts to know!"
The old city bus hit yet another pot hole in the street making all the its passengers lurch in odd directions. I looked up my face still in the calm mask that it was always graced with. My eyes to cut a nasty look outside the window at the road, never once thinking of blaming the driver, those roads were evil. I heard once that the eyes are the window to the soul... it was then that I decided that would master both shielding and exposing my 'soul'.
"I can't even find... the perfect brush so I can paint what is on my mind...
Racing against myself but I'm a couple steps behind, thats why I gotta ask..."Hey
The reason was entirely practical unlike my headphones which I had let slide off the top of my head and to rest comfortably on my neck. Sometimes it is best to let people to know what emotions are swirling around in the seas behind the twin planets atmosphere and others... it is better to let their meteors burn on their entry.
I let my gaze drift to the other passengers studying faces that in the end I could never truly see. For that I would have to interact, take in their expressions and mannerisms. Something that is strictly against my chosen job profession. I was a director. I was behind the camera merely capturing the scenes so that I could take them and place them into the feature presentation that is my life.
My head turned slowly back to the bus windows. I studied them with vague interest noting the dirt and water stains that had accumulated and caused tarnish on the other side of the tinted glass. Eyes focused as familiar landmarks that were along the road close to where I was headed began to appear. Reaching up to pull the line I heard the ding that filled up the vehicle letting all know they had a passenger that dared to ask the driver to stop and delay them all from getting to their destinations.
I stood making my way through the people to the middle of the bus. As it came to a stop I gave another silent look at my surroundings only moving when the doors opened with a hiss. I stepped off and onto the sidewalk
---
"'Turn the lights on.'"
The only words that were spoken between us. The only coherent words flowing from her lips that I would obey. For, with the flipping of the light switch, the space surrounding us ceased to be a small apartment bedroom. It became my jungle, the tension in the room mirroring the humid wet climate as I moved.
"Every night I rush to bed...
With hopes that maybe I'll get a chance to see you.
When I close my eyes!
I'm going out of my head..."
Sliding my jacket off of my shoulders, easily shedding it and the rest of my clothing as I stalked my prey eyes trained intently on her body. Circling my gazelle, the lioness inside of me cried for the taste of the warm skin waiting so invitingly for my tongue...
"Lost in a fairytale
Can you hold my hands and be my guide?
Clouds filled with stars cover the your skies...
And I hope it rains..."
We moved to each other, actions perfectly synchronized, lips meeting, hands caressing, and hearts beating. I preformed this act every night. It was my art, my lust. It was my most practiced sin. I was the spider and tonight she was to be my meal. My hands slide across her bare skin weaving my web in a beautiful pattern softly covering her yet firmly entrapping her till I had my fill.
"My guilty pleasure, I ain't going nowhere!
As long as you're here, I'll be floating on air!
You can be a sweet dream... Or a beautiful nightmare...
Either way, I... Don't want to wake up from you..."
