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1: I will not use Umbridge’s quill to write 'I told you I was hardcore'.

2: Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.

3: I will not greet Professor Mcgonagall with "What's new, pussycat?".

4: My headmasters name is Albus Dumbledore, not 'Gandalf'.

5: No matter how creepy and abandoned some of the towers are, I will not find Johnny Depp with scissors for hands in any of them.

6: I will refrain from calling Harry and Ron "Frodo and Sam", and the Weasley twins "Merry and Pippin".

7: I am not allowed to flood the chamber of secrets, install an organ, wear half a mask and sing Andrew Lloyd Webber.

8: I will not referr to the Accio charm as "The Force".

9: I will not tell Professor Trelawny that the teacup says she's lying.

10: Loudly repaeating "Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort" is not a good way to get a classroom quiet.

11: However tempting it may be, I will not send a Christmas card to Voldemort telling him how much we all love him, even through these difficult times.

12: I will not point to the Dark Mark in the sky and shout "To the Batmobile! Robin!"

13: I must not point to Voldemort and say, "I taught him everything he knows,"

14: I should never ask Harry if his 'Scar senses' are tingling.

15: I will not enchanct a scarecrow and a suit of armor to skip through the halls singing "We're off to see the wizard!"

16: A hug is not all Snape needs.

17: I will not splash water in Professor Mcgonagall's face, expecting her to melt.

18: I shall not say, "I heard if you hug Voldemort, he won't kill you," to the first years.

19: When I see Professor Umbridge, I will not say, "There you are Trevor! Neville has been looking all over for you."

20: The resurrection stone is not materia.

21: I cannot attempt to get drunk on Butter Beer.