Sorry about the random title; I'm totally listening to Jewel's first CD right now, and I LOVE this music, it's so amazing. Jewel is one of my favourite artists ever!! It's a shame she went country. =(
Anywoot, I'm up at 12:31 in the morning for some odd reason; just can't seem to get to sleep. I'm feeling kinda blue right now. More than likely it's the result of the coffee that I drank today. I've been feeling the need for some girlyfuntime, or a sleepover, or something, but haven't had any time to do it. I think I'm just in desperate need of some kind of self-pampering. I totally haven't been sleeping well, so as soon as my next paycheck goes through, I'm going to get my back adjusted and then go straight to the massage place and get a full body massage. O yea, can't wait. It'll be amazing. Maybe then I'll be relaxed enough to actually sleep well and be rested in the morning.
I guess also, I've just been feeling a lack of companionship. I have a kitten now!! Her name is Pixiefish Glittermoon, and she's soooooo cute and silly, and I swear she's Lilka come back to me or something, because she's goofy and kittenish and silly and sweet and I love her and have formed this amazing bond with her. I talk online with Jamie all day too, but neither of those things really seems to do anything for companionship. I guess Amber and Spikey and I are always off doing our own little things and have weird work schedules (Spikey works in the morning and I'm ususally an evening worker) so I never really get to hang out with them except in the morning or late at night, IF they're awake or around or whatever. I dunno. I haven't been getting as much friend time as I'd like, I guess. It sucks, cause I need time to just chill and relax, and I never get to do that with anyone else, and there are times that I just NEED to have people there (like now) and don't get to have it because everyone's asleep, so I end up listening to Jewel and writing blogs at quarter to one in the morning.
I want to go back to college, and I AM going back to OU winter quarter, because I want to finish my bachelor's degree in creative writing. I haven't been getting as much support in doing this as I wanted, which really hurts, because I always try to support my friends when they want to do something, no matter if I think it's good for them or not. At least if I go back, I'll have a bachelor's degree, and an even better chance of getting a job. I don't even have to become an author; I could be an editor, work at a magazine, a webzine, for a TV show or studio, or heck, even something totally not related to my field. Who cares if I'm not going back to school for something that will produce a "financially stable" future? There's more important things to life than money, like following your dreams, and leading a good life, and finding a greater meaning. Why would I want to get a degree or job in something that I find boring and won't want to do because I lack the passion to do it? That just seems so dumb to me. I could never do that; I'm not that type of person. There has to be some sort of passion and drive there, or else I'll just slack off and lose the job anyway, or want to quit cause I hate it, like I'm doing right now with Pizza Hut. I just have to stay focused on the positives instead of worrying, "OMG, what happens if?!!?" There are too may ifs to concentrate on the bad ones.
Besides, if I go back to school, at least I'll maybe be able to make some more friends, join some activities, get fit, learn something new, and be able to improve my writing skills, and also find out how good I really am. I've never had a true creative writing class, so I don't even know how I measure up!! All I know is that when I was in the 11th grade, Lindsay said that I had a lot more talent than a lot of published authors, whose work that wasn't fit to line birdcages or something like that, which made me feel so wonderful, you have no idea how much I appreciated and appreciate her constant support and belief in me and my abilities. I needed that so much when I was younger, especially because my mom fully believed that because she wouldn't want a "famous life" that I wouldn't either, and discouraged me from doing anything that might make me attain that. Anyone that's going to try to be like my mother was to me has no business trying to be my friend. Period.
Anywoot, I'm up at 12:31 in the morning for some odd reason; just can't seem to get to sleep. I'm feeling kinda blue right now. More than likely it's the result of the coffee that I drank today. I've been feeling the need for some girlyfuntime, or a sleepover, or something, but haven't had any time to do it. I think I'm just in desperate need of some kind of self-pampering. I totally haven't been sleeping well, so as soon as my next paycheck goes through, I'm going to get my back adjusted and then go straight to the massage place and get a full body massage. O yea, can't wait. It'll be amazing. Maybe then I'll be relaxed enough to actually sleep well and be rested in the morning.
I guess also, I've just been feeling a lack of companionship. I have a kitten now!! Her name is Pixiefish Glittermoon, and she's soooooo cute and silly, and I swear she's Lilka come back to me or something, because she's goofy and kittenish and silly and sweet and I love her and have formed this amazing bond with her. I talk online with Jamie all day too, but neither of those things really seems to do anything for companionship. I guess Amber and Spikey and I are always off doing our own little things and have weird work schedules (Spikey works in the morning and I'm ususally an evening worker) so I never really get to hang out with them except in the morning or late at night, IF they're awake or around or whatever. I dunno. I haven't been getting as much friend time as I'd like, I guess. It sucks, cause I need time to just chill and relax, and I never get to do that with anyone else, and there are times that I just NEED to have people there (like now) and don't get to have it because everyone's asleep, so I end up listening to Jewel and writing blogs at quarter to one in the morning.
I want to go back to college, and I AM going back to OU winter quarter, because I want to finish my bachelor's degree in creative writing. I haven't been getting as much support in doing this as I wanted, which really hurts, because I always try to support my friends when they want to do something, no matter if I think it's good for them or not. At least if I go back, I'll have a bachelor's degree, and an even better chance of getting a job. I don't even have to become an author; I could be an editor, work at a magazine, a webzine, for a TV show or studio, or heck, even something totally not related to my field. Who cares if I'm not going back to school for something that will produce a "financially stable" future? There's more important things to life than money, like following your dreams, and leading a good life, and finding a greater meaning. Why would I want to get a degree or job in something that I find boring and won't want to do because I lack the passion to do it? That just seems so dumb to me. I could never do that; I'm not that type of person. There has to be some sort of passion and drive there, or else I'll just slack off and lose the job anyway, or want to quit cause I hate it, like I'm doing right now with Pizza Hut. I just have to stay focused on the positives instead of worrying, "OMG, what happens if?!!?" There are too may ifs to concentrate on the bad ones.
Besides, if I go back to school, at least I'll maybe be able to make some more friends, join some activities, get fit, learn something new, and be able to improve my writing skills, and also find out how good I really am. I've never had a true creative writing class, so I don't even know how I measure up!! All I know is that when I was in the 11th grade, Lindsay said that I had a lot more talent than a lot of published authors, whose work that wasn't fit to line birdcages or something like that, which made me feel so wonderful, you have no idea how much I appreciated and appreciate her constant support and belief in me and my abilities. I needed that so much when I was younger, especially because my mom fully believed that because she wouldn't want a "famous life" that I wouldn't either, and discouraged me from doing anything that might make me attain that. Anyone that's going to try to be like my mother was to me has no business trying to be my friend. Period.
. . . so why can't I?
