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Cumbersome weight

Standing ready and willing.
This is no longer thrilling.
Truth is the pressure is killing.
I once was all to willing.

Sight vague and blurry like I'm in some kind of hurry.
Mental contusions ravage me like chicken an curry.
Breaking thoughts of love makes me feel unhappy.
The pain I feel surging now makes me a little sappy.

Fed up with this emotional onslaught.
I draw breaths and line taught.
To think all this I have bought.
So blindly careless I do slowly rot.

Severed the ties of wishing for love.
Only because their isn't anyone up above.
I'm shooting down the peaceful dove.
Rain cascading down from above.

My face psychotically happy with a smile.
Eyes burn like I just threw up bile.
Mind placed into a seprate file.
Body laying on cold a** tile.

I put on my iron mask, it really is an easy task.
Love no longer under do I bask, caught in the sinking past.
Life is falling so very fast, I have been loosing from the every first die cast.
Laughing now I yell out isn't that suck a ******** blast.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!