The scent of earth and metal. Hunger and disgust. Guilt and pleasure and fear. All things collapse and collide in a fraction of a second, emotions tangle, entwining in an intimate dance, so bound by one another that they all occur at once. Eyes dilate and water. Hands and legs shake. Sobs wrack the body, and screams tear at the mind, both joy and frustration. Reality rears its ugly head again, and the careful personal world of submissive acceptance shatters violently.
The one thing you wanted, the thing you never had before, was right there. In your hands. You had it. And now.. now it seems you didn't want it at all. Not anymore, because it hardly matters with the way things changed. It's irreversible, you can't have this both ways. Live or die. Give or take. Feel or go numb. Break or be complete. These are the sides of a coin that never should have been tossed. A coin that spun on its side for months and months before finally sealing your fate. You know what side it's landed on, but not yet what it means for your life.
All you can do is wait, hope, and pray. Yes, pray. Grasp at all the strings you can, but make damn sure you know what you want this time.
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Lived & Died Where Worlds Collide
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