I only use my gaia for the journal now a days.
I've been depressed all day... I miss my hubby. I want him back. ******** the government and ******** everything about it. I can't believe I voted for the ******** that shipped off my fiance to the most dangerous country in the world. I know he's safe and all that.... but he's my life. It's weird that I'm saying that because a little over a year ago I could have never imagined it. I remember the first time we ever talked about marriage we were standing at the bottom of the down escalator at Sears and he was talking about how crazy it would be if he got married before he went to Afghanistan. At the time it was obviously out of the question for the two of us, but when we talked about it my heart skipped a beat, maybe that was my intuition talking. I always had that feeling that I was going to end up marrying him. I even joked with my friends about it for a while saying that if I ever hooked up with him and got pregnant it would be the anti-christ. GOD it's so weird. I love him though and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him. He is honestly the most amazing guy I've ever been with. Sure he's stupid and all that but he gives me something no other guy can; He loves me unconditionally. I could punch him in the face and call him a f*****t and he would still smile and say "I love you too babe". He can take care of me and all these guys trying to get in my pants trying to tell me that they're better than him and they would REALLY take care of me are ******** jokes. Those guys are nothing. If I marry Eric I won't have to worry about anything because I know he'll take care of me... not only him, but the government will take care of me too. If he goes active we can travel the world and I can live is fancy and exotic places. That would be amazing. I would be with him too, so I wouldn't have to worry about him being hurt or having to go DAYS without talking to him... like I have been. Damn I'm talking about him a lot... but oh well. I don't care what anyone else thinks.. .He is my night in shining armor and all this time I was a dumb ignorant b***h towards it. It's still ******** crazy that we ended up together... especially since I was engaged to Bryan the entire time I was friends with him. But you know what. Everything happens for a reason and me saying yes is the best thing I've ever done. I've even been faithful all this time.
I'M SO EXCITED!! I wish more people were supportive but whatever, I don't care what they think and if we have to have a ghetto 5 dollar wedding on the strip, so be it. At least we'll be together forever and that's all that matters. Everyone's saying I'm getting married to him too soon but I know this is the right decision and I've been ready since the day I said yes. He's perfect smile .
Off on to another subject. I should be getting ready for work. I even need to walk to the bus stop and all that neat stuff... but right now I just don't give a ********. I hate my job. It's getting me no where. I'm making 7.10 an hour and working 20 hours a week. I can't support myself on that... and once my car gets fixed I'm out of here. I'm going to see if I can stay with my grandparents and pay them rent and all that junk. They were charging Eric 50 a month for rent so I'm going to see if I can pay them 100 and pretty much buy my own food. My car insurance is going to go up next month and I won't have health insurance. I'm a little stressed. I need to start looking for wedding rings and putting them on layaway, I'm hoping Eric gets his 2 week leave so then we can look for rings and put them on layaway then and have them ready for the wedding which I guess will be in June or July. I ******** HATE THE BUS. I know I'm scattered brained but I figured I would throw that out there. Anywhore. I'll end this here I should probably eat something...since I haven't eaten yet today. I'm feeling a little better now that I've vented.
 Bunn-eh · Sat Jul 11, 2009 @ 11:22pm · 0 Comments |
